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jq37 · 5 years ago

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 1

There Is Strength in Sweetness

Much like the years, the seasons of D20 start coming and they don’t stop coming. Fantasy High: Sophomore Year is barely in the record books and we’re already jumping into our new season--the Game of Thrones/Candyland mashup: A Crown of Candy!

If y’all have been with me since Sophomore Year then you know that I did very in depth recaps of every episode with a very specific format but I’m gonna try something new for this season.

The format might change a little between episodes as I figure out what works best so bear with me but the plan is to do more highlights and opinions than a blow by blow. But, like, we’ll see what happens.

So, anyway, saddle up your Meep and let’s visit Candia--one of the six kingdoms of the land of Calorum (aka: a fridge. We see you Brennan, it’s a fridge). Twenty years ago, the Ravening Wars wreaked havoc but they’re currently in a time of peace which (mostly) everybody is psyched about.

Meet the Family

This is not a new observation but, while most seasons of Fantasy High focus on found family, this season is all about family-family, specifically, the royal family of Candia and their associates.

We’re first introduced to Murph’s character--Sir Theobald Gumbar (Level 3 Eldritch Knight)--who is the a huge, golden-armored, gummy bear, leader of the Tartguard, protector of the royal family, and the logical endpoint of Murph’s lawful good predilections. Sir Theo is, of course, on time with bells on for the big Saint’s Day/Coming of Age birthday party for the twin princesses of House Rocks. Unfortunately, he’s clearly never seen The Little Mermaid because when the heralds announce the princesses, they don’t show up. Frustrated, he goes to try and find them.

The first place he checks is with Zac’s character, Chancellor Lapin Cadbury (Level 3 Celestial Warlock). He is (in no particular order) the royal tutor, a chocolate bunny, an official of the main state sanctioned church of Calorum (the Bulbian Church), and a pompous ass. Oh, one more thing? He and Theobald can’t stand each other. There is nothing funnier than two very proper grown men who hate each other's guts. Sir Theo shows up to his classroom where the princesses are having a lesson--or at least they’re supposed to be. Further inspection shows that they’ve just left two straw dummies in their place. Classic.

So, we pan out to the city to meet my favorite characters so far (I absolutely play favorites but I also disclose when I’m doing it so I think I’m in the clear) the twin princesses/chaos gremlins--Jet and Ruby Rocks (both level 1 Rogues) played by Emily and Siobhan. Theo may not have seen The Little Mermaid but the twins have def seen Aladdin, because their number one pastime seems to be escaping the palace to roam the city--hilariously illustrated when they chuck a gem into a peasant's bag and his reaction is a super nonplussed, “Guess the princesses escaped again.” They’re got the Disney Princess-itis really bad because both of them feel stifled by palace life and want more--specifically, Jet wants to be a warrior and resents having been born in peacetime (especially since she’s slightly older and in line for the throne) and Ruby wants to run off and join the circus as an acrobat. They are total twin BFFs to the point that their Thieves Cant has been reskinned to Twinspeak which is a detail I love so much (and that will become unspeakably tragic if something happens to one of them Brennan).

Jet gets a letter from her secret crush Thad, an Avocado from Fructera (these are the sentences I am being forced to write this season folks) and schemes with Ruby about how they can get to Comida (the capital city) to meet him--possibly by sweet talking Theobald which is easy because he’s so thirsty for respect. Sure enough, Theobald and Lapin soon find them, following their path of destruction and the princesses are brought back to the castle.

Back at the castle, we’re introduced to Lou’s character--King Amethar Rocks (Level 3 Storm Herald Barbarian)--who is having a somber moment, surrounded by the statues of his four older sisters who died in the Ravening Wars, leading his reluctant taking of the throne. He’s interrupted by Lord Calroy (his right hand guy and a full ass talking slice of cake because Brennan is trying to break me this season but I refuse to give him the satisfaction) who lets him know that his daughters have escaped and his delighted reaction immediately lets us know which side of the family they take after.

Finally (at least wrt PCs), we meet Ally’s character--Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker (Level 2 Ranger) who is a political prisoner/ward of House Rocks and a soft, outdoorsy, mountain kid who is perpetually followed around by his pet pig--Peppermint Preston whose death will absolutely force to me to Google “Best Denny’s Parking Lots for Fistfights.” He misses his dad but not his dick brothers because Ally isn’t allowed to have a fully happy family in any season. Liam is from the disgraced House Jawbreaker and his brothers seem to expect him to try and off the King while he’s in their orbit. While he’s in the woods, looking for seeds (as one does) he finds and accidentally breaks an important looking teacup, which we’ll get back to.

The other important character we meet this episode is an NPC--Queen Caramelinda, mother of the princesses, wife of Amethar, and keeper of 100% of the impulse control of House Rocks. She’s the main disciplinarian to Jet and Ruby, the clear decision-maker in the kingdom, and the only literate one out of her and her husband. She also seems to be the only character that respects Lapin’s authority.

An Inciting Incident

So, with all our characters assembled, all that’s left is the plot hook which Caramelinda provides in the form of a personal letter from Emperor Gustavo--the head honcho of the entire realm and his old friend--to Amethar. He’s not doing well health-wise and he needs to name an heir that’s not related to him at a big tourney that he’s personally inviting Amethar to. Amethar is a little slow on the uptake but Caramelinda eventually connects to dots for him that it seems very likely that Gustavo is going to name him emperor.

Amethar is not vibing with that information at all but Caramelinda basically holds him by the ear until he reluctantly agrees to go--though he insists that Ruby and Jet also come along to keep him company. Caramelinda only agrees on the condition that Lapin goes with. She also invites Liam (who is caught off guard but game) and Sir Theo is basically going by default. Caramelinda is staying home to hold down the fort but the talking slice of cake is going because Brennan hates me and doesn’t want me to be happy.

The traveling party is chosen, the twins have been gifted with sick, inherited weapons from their aunts: Flickorice--the Twizzing Blade (Jet) and Sourscratch--the Puckering Bow (Ruby). It’s almost time to be off, but there’s still one last thing to get to before we leave the twins’ party.

Lapin, feeling the pull of something broken (told you we’d get back to it) subtly makes his way outside, but is followed by Jet and Liam. Now, if you remember, I said earlier that Lapin is an official of the Bulbian church. Which is why it’s so surprising for Jet and Liam to see him talking to the Sugarplum Fairy, a deity of the Sweetening Path--a non-sanctioned more animistic religion that really only has sway in Candia. He fixes the teacup and then she appears, telling him that he’ll need to be wary once he leaves her sphere of influence and that boldness will be required in the days to come. Lapin, who seems to be having this conversation very begrudgingly, asks if she’s asking him to do anything in an official capacity and she smiles and says that she’s not asking for her third wish(!). Then what does she want? She wants him to know that there is great risk in what he is doing, but not acting is the greater risk. The coming challenges will be great, but he must protect the royal family or all is lost. She wouldn't have used her second wish to bring him to them if that weren’t the case. They hustle back and spill this to Ruby, obvs.

Anyway, onward! The next day, the caravan is set up and--with a warning about a sugar free chocolate warlock (ominous, as sugar free chocolate always is) they’re on their way to meet their escort out of Candia. Ruby decides to do her acrobat thing and is hanging out on top of the carriage instead of inside it as she and Jet “subtly” (read:not at all) bring up the Sugarplum Fairy to Lapin to see if he cracks.

Suddenly, the caravan stops. There’s a tree felled in the path, which really only means one thing in this kind of story.

Ambush.

Ruby, outside of the carriage and unprotected, takes 16 points of damage and is fully down with a failed death save due to some unknown effect. The carriage is riddled with arrows.

Everyone rolls for initiative and that takes us into a new (sure to be recurring) segment I’m calling:

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m concerned about Jet and Ruby (and not just because I’ve been worried about Ruby for a while due to things the cast has said and because she fully *died* this episode). They have their genres so wrong. They think they’re Disney movie protagonists but they’re in Game of Thrones and they don’t know it. Being Wrong Genre Savvy is a BAD position to find yourself in. Carriage surfing shenanigans don’t fly in a world that wants you dead.

OK, Carameinda. I’m inclined to be pro-Caramelinda. Like, she’s the hardass but she needs to be because Amethar isn’t helping run the kingdom. If this was a different story, she wouldn’t give me any pause but I read Macbeth and feel some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Gonna be keeping an eye on her.

Calroy and Sir Toby (didn’t mention him, he’s a slightly lower ranked Gummi Bear guard and friends with Theo). In a story like this, I’m looking for the possible betrayals before I get blindsided and the only people who can really betray you are people who are supposedly loyal to you. Calroy had a little aside with Amethar about how he shouldn’t be the Emperor if he doesn’t want to be--which isn’t wrong but is also something someone angling to keep him off the throne for other reasons would say--and Sir Toby decided to stay behind to help hold down the fort--again, either an innocuous decision, or angling to be left alone and to his own devices.

Whatever is going on with the Sugarplum Fairy and Lapin? Do not care for that one bit. I understand that a Warlock pact is mechanically very similar to a Paladin oath and a Celestial Warlock pact is even moreso but guess what? Still don’t trust it. I know Ruby’s Arcana check said that she’s generally a chill spirit but I still don’t trust it. And getting Wishes from your follower? Weird and suspicious. What’s your game, lady?

Emperor Gustavo apparently has a daughter who is barred by law from taking the throne when he dies. That sounds like a very strong motive for *something* at some point down the line.

I’m a little concerned Jet is being catfished by this Avocado. First of all, not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. Second of all, I’m probably just being paranoid. But that feels like a great way to get a princess alone for kidnapping or shanking or something.

Update: Brennan did an AMA and, regarding the previous bullet point he said, and I quote, “You are right to be concerned!” so now I’m concerned about that too! Fun!

I’m concerned about the mechanics of how a slice of cake person works. Slice implies a full cake. Where is the rest of the cake Brennan? Where is it? And, like, Brennan said on the post-show stream that we’re making the “what do they eat?” question weirder than it actually is because we’re made of some of the stuff we eat but hey Brennan? If I could pick a flesh toned and textured apple off a tree? That would be weird, OK? And I’m sorry for everyone else who had to picture that but it had to be said since Brennan is insisting on walking us down this garden path.

I’m concerned about whatever the hell is happening with Liam. Disgraced dad, mom is a shaman of the local fringe religion (Sweetening Path, like Lapin), and his brothers want him to shank the king or something? No way this ends in smiles for everyone.

Brennan said Pyramid of Food so I’m concerned about fruit rollup mummies.

OK but more than anything, I’m concerned about the death rules of this game. Death in D&D is cheap but, in a campaign like this, it can’t be. I’m not super well versed in GoT but it’s my understanding that resurrection in that series is possible but rare. Brennan said he specifically didn’t let Ally stock certain healing spells and that’s very telling about how things are gonna be handled. I guess we’ll see in the upcoming battle episode how that works but my general thought is, I hope everyone made interesting backup characters.

Five More Things

So, my thoughts on the new characters. I love Ruby and Jet with my entire heart. Watching Emily and Siobhan roleplay sisters and enable each other and hype each other up is so fun--or it would be if I wasn’t low key bracing to lose one of them sooner rather than later. Zac playing against type and Murph playing to type are both fantastic. I want nothing more than for Theobald and Lapin to continue sniping at each other. I hope that’s the first PvP fight of D20. Amethar is a lot of fun but clearly in over his head and I’m interested to see where he’s pushed. Liam is literally just vibing. Hope he doesn’t have to commit regicide!

God, the House Rocks PCs are such a disaster family. I love it. The moment when Calroy comes in and is like, “The princesses have escaped,” and Amethar breaks into a grin and is like, “Dude, that’s so dope!” I was like OH, so it’s *all* of them, huh. But, honestly, this should have been on the “Things I’m Concerned About” list because come on. They’ve not all gonna make it. And then we’re gonna have to watch the remaining family members react to that? Oh no.

Love Ruby’s bow. I have a player in my game who also has a magic bow that produces energy arrows because, truly, who has the time to deal with the logistics of how many arrows you had left after last fight? Magic arrows. Boom, done. Next.

Getting bagged on by your Patron for not having a spell when she’s the one who gives you your spells is so funny. Also, Mending isn’t a Warlock spell which makes it even funnier.

**I’ve given myself a 3k word limit on all of these to try to put some boundaries on myself but, Lol, prize to the first who guesses closest to the first episode I break that rule.**

#a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #the royal report #listen I don't hate calroy #I hate the *implications* of calroy

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queendice98 · 4 years ago

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Chapter One: Misfits meet Mutants

Sixth grade, one of the most awkward and biggest turning points in any youth's life. Everyone is going through puberty, long-time friends are beginning to fight each other over petty things, and anyone that has problems at home feels even more helpless and lost. The last part couldn't be more true for childhood friends Maggie, Maddie, and Ash. It's hard enough that they're undergoing puberty, but on top of that their home lives are less than ideal for moody preteens.

Maggie has a decent relationship with her father; her mother, on the other hand, is another story. Her mother is not the nurturing type. Some would say that perhaps her mental health was to blame but that is certainly no excuse for the way she treats her daughter. It doesn't help Maggie's mood that her parents are always fighting, leaving the poor girl feeling alone and unstable.

Maggie sluggishly gets ready for her first day of 6th grade, not that she's really looking forward to it, she just wants to escape the shitfest she calls a house. The brunette brushes her hair and teeth before changing into a baggy black hoodie, jeans, and an old pair of tennis shoes. She swings her large backpack on and grabs whatever looks edible from the fridge before leaving her house and walking to the bus stop nearby.

Maddie had to wake up much earlier than her friends so that she had enough time to feed her two younger siblings and send them off to the bus stop. Being the responsible older sister she is, she always took care of her siblings. Her mother often chose sleeping over care of her younger children, leaving her eldest to do all the work. The young girl sighs, grabbing a Mountain Dew and a packet of Pop-Tarts before going to the bus stop. She texts Ash to see if her friend is awake yet.

The girls have known each other since kindergarten, they had gone through so much in elementary school and every experience made their bond much stronger. Maddie is happy to have a friend like her, she has no idea how she would have survived without Ash. Lord knows they'll need each other as they go through the very early stages of puberty. She climbs onto the school bus, texting Ash after sitting down.

Ash texts Maddie that she's awake and getting ready for school, trying desperately to drown out her fighting parents. The kind girl is used to hearing them fight every morning before they go to work. It's gotten to the point that she no longer needs an alarm to wake up. She stays in her room until they finally leave for work giving her a chance to grab something for breakfast. Quickly settling on a day-old seven-layer burrito from Taco Bell, she heads out the door, happy that summer is over and she's back in school.

Ash has been in a bad home for as long as she can remember, her situation only worsening when her mom met Gavin and later married him. When he came into her life, she stupidly fooled herself into thinking he was different from all her mother's other relationships. Now he's proven himself to be nothing more than an overweight, alcoholic, smoker that spends most of his time drinking and belittling her. What Ash wouldn't give to get rid of that asshole once and for all, then maybe she'll have her mom back.

All three girls have no idea that they're in for a surprise when they get to school. Maddie and Ash meet up in the cafeteria, easily spotting Maggie by her lonesome. "Hey stranger." Ash says as she and Maddie sit with the young Wiccan.

Maggie smiles at the two girls, remembering them from fifth grade and how kind they were to her. "How you girls doin'?" Maggie asks as she drinks some chocolate milk.

"Eh, kinda glad to be at school. Least I'm out of that damn house." Maddie shrugs while sipping on her Mountain Dew.

"I was at camp over the summer. It was definitely better than being at home all day." Ash adds, eating an apple.

"Sounds like y'all had fun. I was stuck at home all summer." Maggie scrolls threw her phone, absentmindedly looking at some memes.

Ash glances up, noticing her new neighbor in line to get breakfast. "Oh God, of course that idiot would be here." Ash groans, praying that she doesn't have any classes with him.

Meanwhile, the Hamato boys are in the car heading to school, "I can't wait! We're finally going to public school!" Mikey shouts while practically vibrating in his seat.

"Calm down Mikey, you're going to scare everyone." Raph grouches to his younger brother, still grumpy from waking up early. Leo was almost neurotically making sure he had everything in his backpack. Donnie surprisingly was the most calm during the car ride despite being extremely excited about getting to go to public school. He was focused on how he can learn far more under the instruction of qualified professionals than he ever could have while homeschooled.

Splinter is glad his boys are excited for their official first day of school. Although they had a rough summer moving from New York to Fort Worth, Texas, he was sure it was for the best. After all, being here would hopefully be good for his boys. Maybe Splinter will benefit from this as well. Once at the school, the boys rushed to get out of the car. "Have a good day, my sons!" Splinter exclaims, feeling a bit emotional watching his boys go inside.

The hours go by as well as expected on the first day; the usual confusion of finding one's class, the principal trying to be cool as she greets the student body over the intercom, all the cliche drawn out 'getting to know you' activities. The girls were separate most of the day, finally reuniting for gym class. "Hey, y'all heard about the four turtles that moved here?" Maggie asks as they change into their gym clothes.

"Yeah, I think I had one of them in my math class earlier." Maddie saw one of the Hamato boys in her class. The blue clad one if she remembers correctly.

"I saw them in the hall between classes, the one with an orange bandana is loud as Hell." Ash finishes changing and leads the three girls out of the locker room only to see the four turtles in their gym class.

"Great." Moaned all three as they sit as far away from everyone as possible.

"Okay guys, my name is coach Dianne and I will be your gym teacher for the next three years. It's our first day, so we're just going to do some stretches before we play dodgeball!"

Mikey looks around and sees the three girls sitting by themselves in a corner while they did some stretching. He stared, curious as to why they were so far away from everyone else.

Leo took notice of the scrunched up face his brother was making, "What are you looking at Mikey?" He follows his brother's gaze only to blush dark red. He hadn't expected to see Maddie in gym class with him. The poor guy hasn't realised he is slowly developing a crush on the short haired brunette, a bit clueless about things like this because of his isolated upbringing. Raph laughs quietly while watching his oldest, 'most mature,' brother turn redder than a ripe cherry at seeing a pretty girl.

Before Mikey could get the chance to walk up to the girls to say hi, the coach began splitting everyone up into teams so they could start playing dodgeball. Unfortunately for him, they are on the other team. Mikey tries to get struck out along with the girls, really wanting a chance to talk to them.

In spite of his brother's efforts, it is Donnie that gets struck out first. Being the tallest of his classmates makes him an easy target. Ash gets hit not long after by a lucky shot, despite her doing an amazing job at dodging due to her small stature.

She sits near Donnie, grabs a book from her backpack and begins to read. Donnie notes that she's reading Macbeth and can't resist but get a little closer to her. "So, um, I see that you're into Shakespeare. I like his work too." He says in an attempt to make small talk.

She glances up, surprised that someone actually wants to talk to her. Hardly anyone talks to her. "It's okay, not one of my favorites. I'm just reading ahead for my English homework." Ash replies to the tall nerdy terrapin, blushing as she takes a good look at him. He's pretty cute for a mutant turtle. An adorable gap between his teeth and enchanting red-brown eyes are two things she spots off the bat.

"Oh, where are my manners? I'm Donnie." The shy boy extends a large three digit hand, shaking Ash's far smaller one. He's blown away by how beautiful she is. Extra long espresso locks, soft pale skin, sweet sensitive brown eyes, she's an absolute angel.

"I'm Ash, it's nice to meet you."

Leo is next to get hit and forced to sit on the bleachers. His sapphire blue eyes widen when he sees Maddie get struck out and begin walking in his direction. He wants to talk to her, but he has no idea what to say. "Um, hi." Leo says, his voice squeaking a little. He brushes it off the best he can, especially now that he's gotten her attention.

"Yes?" Maddie questions, wondering what this nerd could possibly want from her.

"I, uh, saw you in math class, and I want to get to know you a little better." Leo fidgets awkwardly under her harsh gaze. With her standing in front of him, he can really admire her better. Short, honey-brown hair frames her face perfectly. Her face and arms are splattered with adorable freckles. But, it's her eyes that fluster Leo the most. They're a beautiful blue-green. The shades shift depending on how the light hits them.

"Uh okay, what do you want to know?" Maddie asks, not knowing why Leo wants to talk to her but open to talk. The fact that the blue clad turtle is fairly handsome may have slightly opened her up to discussion. Pine green skin and sweet round sapphire eyes? Swoon worthy.

"So uh, Mr. Evans is a nutcase huh?" Leo chokes out. Jesus, he sucks at flirting. Just being social is a struggle when you've been isolated for so long, how is he supposed to hit on someone? Everyone that was watching them could see he was struggling like Hell.

Raph and Maggie are soon struck out. The red banded turtle watches Maggie sit down and curl in on herself. He is pulled in by how mysterious she looks. Raph has no idea that in reality the young woman is a small angry gremlin. He swaggers over to her, in reality looking like a fucking idiot, "Sup! How are ya?" Raph asks the young Wiccan.

"Hi?" Maggie responds hesitantly, unsure why he's talking to her.

Suspicious of new people, she stays curled into herself. This doesn't exactly hide her as much as she wishes it did, however. Long, dark brown hair tied up in a ponytail, revealing and enchanting hazel eyes as she peers up at the intruder to her personal space.

"So how's your day going?" He asks, noticing that Maggie seems to be a bit wary.

She decides he's not posing a threat, at least not currently, "Eh it's what you'd expect on the first day of school." Maggie shrugs, humming non-committedly. She is just a bit unsure how to react now that Raph is talking to her. The two continue chatting about classes, Maggie letting Raph lead the conversation for the most part.

Finally, Mikey gets struck out of the game. "Hey guys!" The youngest turtle shouts, curious as to what his older brothers are doing. His face absolutely lights up when he sees that the girls he wanted to talk to earlier are now talking with his brothers.

Leo sees his baby brother making his way towards him and Maddie, he prays that Mikey doesn't embarrass him. Maddie sees the excitable turtle braces for herself. He seems nice but at the same time she's not sure if he's really friendly. "Maddie, this is my baby brother Mikey." Leo introduces the two, knowing Mikey wants to talk to her.

Mikey excitedly shakes Maddie's hand. He can't believe he has a new friend. "I love your hoodie! I'm a fan of My Hero Academia too!" Mikey exclaims, happy someone likes the same show he likes.

"Yeah? I just got into it recently. It's awesome!" Maddie says as she begins to talk to the orange clad turtle. Leo can't believe that Mikey took Maddie's attention away from him, then again, he should have expected this from his baby brother.

Casey spots Ash on the bleachers and heads over. He's eager to get to know his next-door neighbor, "Hey there, how's it going?"

Ash looks up at Casey and groans, why does he have to be her class? "Hi, I'm okay." Ash replied curtly.

Donnie wonders how they know each other. "So um, how do you two know each other? Do you have a class together or something?"

Ash shakes her head, "No he's my next-door neighbor, he moved into my neighborhood during the summer." She has nothing against Casey. It's just that he seems to follow her wherever she goes. Before they could have a chance to really talk, the bell rings for lunch. Ash sighs in relief as she grabs her things and Maddie so they can get away from all of these people. Maggie follows them, overhearing that they're going to hide out in the art room. Being in a quiet spot is better than being in the loud cafeteria.

The three girls wait in line to get some food, blissfully unaware that Mikey is planning to get the three girls to become his best friends. "So, you two gonna join any clubs or something?" Maddie asks as she grabs a tray of food and some milk.

Maggie grabs some food as well, sticking out her tongue at the choices, "I'm probably gonna join the band or something."

"I might join the cooking or arts and crafts club." Ash says, not caring how long she stays after school. It's better than being at home.

The boys are looking around for a place to sit only for their baby brother to drag them to the art room. "Mikey, where are you taking us?" Leo questions. Mikey doesn't answer, but his brothers have no choice but to follow him to make sure that he's okay. Casey goes with the turtles. He just feels like they may be fun to hang around. As the girls get settled in the art room, they hear muffled voices in the hall. They share confused looks until Mikey bursts through the door and sits down. The girls are startled and a bit nervous, but choose not to question it.

"Hi! I'm Michelangelo, but you guys can call me Mikey. I saw you guys in gym class and wanted to get to know you." Mikey bounces excitedly as he sits in front of the girls.

Once they enter the art room, Leo, Donnie, Raph, and Casey stop to catch their breath. Leo and his other two brothers begin apologizing for Mikey's behavior. Unlike the orange clad baby, they could recognize he was acting like a total stalker. The girls accepted their apology, seeing that Mikey means no harm. And who could say no to his adorable face? Especially when he just wanted to make friends!

"So uh Mikey, what elementary school did you and your brothers go to?" Ash asks as she eats her Burger.

"Oh we've been homeschooled until we moved here in June." Mikey replies as he eats his tots.

"Yeah, we're actually from New York. But Dad wanted to move here so we have a better education." Donnie adds as he peels an orange.

Maddie is stunned, "We don't usually get a lot of people from up North, they think our weather is too crazy."

"Yup, Texas has crazy weather." Maggie adds.

"No kidding! How can you survive in this weather? How do you walk around in the summer heat without dying?" Leo asks, amazed how anyone can stand the heat at all.

"We were raised in it, that's just how we are." Ash says as she doesn't think that heat is that bad.

Maddie and Leo blush when their eyes meet. They can't help but glance at each other, finding each other cute. Mikey notices their stares as he talks to Ash and Maggie, he's definitely going to tease Leo later.

"So what was it like in the Big Apple?" Maggie questions curiously.

Raph was happy to answer that question between bites of his burger. "It was okay, we mainly stayed in the house. Dad was paranoid about something happening to us."

The girls were surprised. Not only did they not see much of New York, but their dad was concerned enough for their safety that they moved so far away. "It's pretty cool, I want to go back when I get older." Casey stuffs his face with soggy tater-tots, continuing the conversation by telling them some stories he had from the few years he lived in the big city before moving.

The tweens continue talking to each other, and the girls are pleasantly surprised that they are having fun with these New Yorkers. The three girls are used to living in solitude and only talking to others when they have to, so this is a nice change. Mikey is just happy to have made some new friends on his first day of public school. Everyone is enjoying themselves as they chat among each other until lunch is over and they must go to their next lesson.

Donnie and Ash blush when they see they have the same science class. Ash thought she's the only one in the honors courses, unaware that Donnie is just as big a nerd as she is. The rest of the day goes by fairly well, the bell promptly releasing the students from class. The day is over, and they're free to go home.

The Hamato boys patiently wait for Rat Dad to come and pick them up. Mikey sees Ash and Maddie are waiting for their late bus and waves at them. Smiling when they wave back at him.

Leo soon sees Rat Dad's car, "C'mon Mikey, Father's here!" He shouts. Raph, seeing Mikey had seemingly completely ignored Leo, grabs his baby brother's arm and yanks him into the car.

"I assume you boys had a good day at school?" Splinter questions hopefully as he watches his boys get into the car.

"We had a great day Papa! I made some new friends!" Mikey shouts as he puts his seatbelt on.

"Yeah, we met them in gym class. They're really nice." Donnie says, a bright blush on his face.

"They're nice girls." Leo adds, getting Splinter's attention.

Splinter is apprehensive that the first friends they made were girls, though knowing his youngest he has no reason for concern. Mikey just wants to be friends with anyone and everyone. The more Splinter listens to what Mikey tells him, the more he relaxes as he can tell that Mikey is just trying to be friendly. Rat Dad is relieved that his boys had a good day at school, he had worried that moving here wouldn't turn out the way he had hoped. Thankfully Fort Worth seems like a great choice for him and his boys so far. If only they knew this was just the beginning of their new lives.

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sloshed-cinema · 5 years ago

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Throne of Blood [蜘蛛巣城] (1957)

Lady Macbeth is key to a strong Macbeth. Isuzu Yamada is absolutely magnetic as Lady Asaji Washizu in just how still she is through much of her performance. It’s a mannered, manipulative, and understated sort of control she exerts on her ‘Macbeth’, playing on his paranoia to push him to the top of the feudal ladder. But she isn’t purely passive. Bursts of energy drive her to catalyze the key action, and the swish of her kimono provides deeply unnerving sound design at the early turning point.

Eerie fog and mist pervade the film, from a bookending chorus pro/epilogue that sees the Forest Castle emerging from and disappearing into the mists of time immemorial. Even dust serves a similar purpose at times. These are evil, mysterious times, governed by madmen and spirits of dubious moments.

THE RULES PICK ONE Select one castle and sip when it is named:

North Castle

Forest Castle

Fort One

SIP

Talk of treason.

Kimono swishing.

Diabolical laughter.

A crow caws.

BIG DRINK

Part of the prophecy comes to pass

“The forest is a labyrinth”

#drinking games #drama #macbeth #akira kurosawa #kurosawa #toshiro mifune #isuzu yamada #shakespeare #throne of blood

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lady-ravens · 5 years ago

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Hécate

Par Doreen Valiente ©, traduction Lune

Extrait de « An ABC of witchcraft » pp 168-169.

Hécate est l’ancienne Déesse grecque de la Sorcellerie. Elle est représentée sur des pierres romaines sculptées de la période classique, sous une triple forme, possédant trois têtes, trois paires de bras portant dagues, fouets et torches. Deux énormes serpents s’enroulent autour de ses pieds. Des pierres sculptées de ce style étaient portées en amulette, particulièrement par ceux intéressés par les sciences occultes.

Hécate est une très ancienne Déesse, plus vieille encore que les Dieux et Déesses de l’Olympe du mythe classique. Elle était vénérée par Zeus lui-même, qui jamais ne renia son séculaire pouvoir d’exaucer ou de rejeter les désirs des mortels.

Pour cette raison, mages et sorcières l’invoquaient très souvent. Son pouvoir était triple : dans les cieux, sur Terre, et dans le monde souterrain des esprits et fantômes. Un de ses symboles était une clef, signifiant ainsi sa capacité à retenir ou à libérer les esprits et spectres de toutes sortes. Euripide, le poète grec, l’appelait « Reine du monde des fantômes ».

Sa statue était érigée aux carrefours, où il était préférable d’invoquer sa présence de nuit. Des années plus tard, les sorcières se réunirent aux carrefours afin de célébrer leurs rites.

Bien que sa souveraineté se soit étendue sur le ciel, la Terre et le monde souterrain, Hécate fut associée tout particulièrement à la lune et aux Déesses lunaires, Diane, Artémis et Séléné, avec qui elle fut assimilée. Sa triplicité renvoyait aux trois phases de la lune : croissante, pleine, décroissante.

Elle était dépeinte accompagnée d’une meute de chiens hurlants, probablement du fait que les chiens hurlent à la lune, ainsi qu’ils hurlent lorsqu’un fantôme se tient tout proche, même si on ne le voit pas ; ils réagissent fortement dans les lieux hantés.

Les philosophes gnostiques, qui se réunissaient dans la ville égyptienne d’Alexandrie, révéraient des fragments de poésie appelée « les oracles chaldéens ». Ces fragments qui sont parvenus jusqu’à nous, écrits en grec, laissent apparaître Hécate comme la Grande Mère ou la vie de l’Univers. La Nature est son vêtement, son manteau : « Et de son dos, de chaque côté de la Déesse, la Nature infinie s’accroche ».

« Hécate » ne serait pas un nom grec. Les spécialistes en doutent et, plus généralement, il existe beaucoup d’incertitudes autour de ce nom et ses dérivés. Certains suggèrent comme signification à son nom « La Lointaine » ou « Celle qui se tient au loin ». Le nom d’Hécate ressemble à l’ancien égyptien « hekau » qui signifie « magie ». Deux anciens noms d’Hécate sont Aphrattos « Celle Sans Nom » et Pandeina « La Toute-Terrifiante ».

Robert Graves, cependant, dans ses Mythes Grecs (Penguin Books, London, 1957 and Baltimore, Maryland, 1955) donne comme signification « Cent » et la relie à la Grande Année aux cent lunaisons pendant laquelle, il y a fort longtemps, il était permis au Roi Sacré de régner. A la fin de cette année-là, Il était sacrifié, Son sang venait alors enrichir le pays et renouveler la prospérité de ses sujets. Cette institution du Roi Divin sacrifié était très répandue dans l’ancien monde et remonte loin dans l’Histoire humaine. Ceci étant intimement lié à l’ordre matriarcal des temps primitifs, lorsque la Grande Déesse de la Nature, la Magna Mater, était prédominante.

Shakespeare, dans Macbeth, représente ses trois sorcières comme des adoratrices d’Hécate, et non du diable ou de Satan, ce dont elles furent, pourtant, accusées durant dans des centaines d’années. Nombre des contemporains de Shakespeare ont introduit dans leurs pièces de théâtre et poèmes « La Dame Hécate » en tant que Déesse des Sorcières.

Dans la pièce de Thomas Middleton « La Sorcière », le personnage principal prend le nom d’Hécate, s’auto proclamant la Sorcière de la Déesse de la Sorcellerie.

Ainsi, si nous souhaitons choisir un nom usité à l’époque de Shakespeare et plus tard pour invoquer la Déesses des Sorcières, Hécate serait un choix évident, naturel. La prononciation grecque est « Hek-a-ti », mais elle est devenue, une fois anglicisée, Hek-at.

Le sigil employé par les mages pour invoquer Hécate est un croissant de lune dont les deux pointes sont tournées vers le haut. Entre les deux, un point est dessiné.

#green witch #witchcraft #thewitchesishere

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lefeusacre-editions · 6 years ago

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BOOKHOUSE GIRL #53 | ANNA d’ANNUNZIO, actrice et terminatrix

Anna d’Annunzio devrait être l’actrice préférée de tout le monde. Bien entendu, ce serait insupportable. Mais seulement pour elle. Repérée une fois pour toutes, quoique demeurant quatre fois inatrappable, dans le sublimement important L’Etrange couleur des larmes de ton corps de Cattet & Forzani, d’Annunzio tresse un pont nu entre la totale star parfumée d’aurores boréales et la femme de coeur avec laquelle il faut / on peut converser - tu en ressors agrandi pour l’hiver et la saison d’après, minimum. Anna d’Annunzio est aujourd’hui la dialoguiste-poétesse d’AZMANDEH, une bande noire et sang dessinée par Alain Poncelet, entre stryge et berbalang, louve rougie et morsure nyctalope perchée sur toutes les épaules, dont le premier volume a été révélé au BIFFF ( Brussels International Fantastic Film Festival). Une autofiction nécropolitaine entachée de superbe, de fesse et de sucettes à l’hémoglobine, dont la suite est attendue avec fièvre et tics faciaux. Ad’A, dite Daz, est notre Bookhouse Girl de la semaine, enfin.

| Que trouve-t-on comme nouvelles acquisitions dans ta bibliothèque ? Il n’y a aujourd’hui que des vieilleries dans la pile verticale et croulante des en-cours et à-lire. Des acquis de bacs à livres, des reçus et des chourés aux copains. Loup-Garous et Vampires de Villeneuve, Féministe et Libertaire de David-Néel (…peut-on être à la foi loup, garou, vampire, féministe et libertaire ?! Absolument. C’est même fortement recommandé.), Miscellanées de Lorrain, Ni Marx ni Jésus de Revel, Récits de la Kolyma de Chalamov, Un paria des îles de Conrad puis d’autres encore dont je ne vois d’ici pas la tranche, écroulés il y a peu certainement, ramassés et replacés à l’envers.

| Quels livres marquants as-tu découverts à l'adolescence et que tu possèdes toujours ? J’ai perdu beaucoup de livres. La vie. Parmi les survivants, quantité de London. J’ai étoilé mon obscure puberté de ses neiges puis ai été mordue de ses veines rouges et hommes, ouvriers, hobos, marins, ivrognes, boxeurs... C’est aussi une période pendant laquelle je mangeais pas mal de théâtre, lisais et relisais maintes fois les véhémentes, impétueuses et folles tirades des tragédiennes de Racine, de l’Antigone de Sophocle, d’Octave et Perdican chez Musset, Don Juan et Elvire chez Molière, Macbeth et Richard III de Shakespeare. J’aimais ensuite les beautés légères et camarades de L’Usage du monde de Bouvier, l’acidité de Burroughs et Ginsberg, les merveilles fantasques de Gustave Le Rouge, la sensualité, les spleens et ondes lugubres de Baudelaire et Poe. Demeurent et persistent enfin sous la poussière tous les renâclés au lycée que j’ai finalement et aimablement dévoré, Zola, Maupassant, Hugo, Camus, Malraux.

| Sans égard pour sa qualité, lequel de tes livres possède la plus grande valeur sentimentale, et pourquoi ? Ça fait longtemps que je ne place plus de sentiment dans le matériel mais j’aime particulièrement un minuscule livre vert illustré. Le Radis géant. Un vieux monsieur plante un radis et chante pour l’encourager à pousser. Pendant la nuit le truc devient énorme. Fou heureux il tente en vain de le déraciner. Sa vieille dame le rejoint pour l’aider en lui tirant sur le bénard, et la fillette, et le gros chien noir, et le chat… toute une queue leu leu joyeuse, rougeaude et essoufflée, jusqu’à ce que le miaulard sollicite la main-forte de la souris. Tu imagines le dénouement. Enfin tous morfent ensemble et rigolards la gigantesque brassicacée. Cette petite histoire a exceptionnellement résisté à diverses et fréquentes maltraitances enfantines, une quinzaine de déménagements et une vilaine flambée volontaire. Elle traine toujours à vue ; je l’attrape parfois, l’arque et anime comme un petit film, celui où une cerise couronne allègrement toute la fortune d’un gâteau.

| Lequel de tes livres prêterais-tu à quelqu'un qui te plaît ? Le prêt invite à la réitération voire la récidive ou du moins à son prétexte et ce n’est parfois pas nécessaire. Ainsi j’offre. Et adapte le geste à ma visée ou d’éventuelles complicités, mais c’est très souvent un livre de Jack London ou George Eekhoud. Je t’en ai offert un d’ailleurs non !!?

| Oui, en 2016, Une mauvaise rencontre ! Que trouve-t-on comme livres honteux dans tes rayonnages ? Plus rien. Je peux tout assumer. J’ai récemment largué 99 francs de Beigbeder au Secours Populaire et abandonné un livre de quatre-cents recettes de verrines – mais enfin pourquoi ces absurdes présents aux premières de théâtre ?! - et quelques mièvres et fastidieux Bobin envoyés par un amant qui, forcément, n’a pas fait long feu, dans une cabine téléphonique reconvertie en boîte à lire…C’est un peu salopard et venimeux de refiler tout ça non ? J’aurais dû, au risque de l’encrasser, allumer le poêle avec.

| Quels livres as-tu hérité de tes proches ? De mes descendants contemporains, si proche j’en fus, j’ai plutôt chipé qu’hérité. J’ai d’abord enfreint l’interdit de la plus inaccessible étagère au-dessus des toilettes en montant sur - et en cassant - l’abattant du chiottard. Reiser, Choron, Cabu, Wolinski, Cavanna, Brétécher et Serpieri y rayonnaient, et je me souviens très bien du soir (et de l’épaisse moquette bleu marine chez des particuliers lointains à Bruxelles en 1988 exactement) où, condamnée à quitter la table et à aller dormir en haut pour avoir dit « La Belgique ça pue la frite », j’ai découvert Manara et légitimé le principe de la masturbation. J’ai plus tard récupéré les latineries sud-américaines des brûlants et véraces Osvaldo Bayer, Eduardo Galeano et les récits de quelques auteurs et poètes comme Coloane, Garcia Marquez, Cortázar, Neruda, Allende et, c’est certain, j’en suis empreinte.

| Le livre que tu as le plus lu et relu ? Mises à part les bandes dessinées qui se torchent à la selle (et encore, c’est un devoir que j’expédie généralement dans le plus grand dénuement - je me souviens d’ailleurs avoir lu Lire aux cabinets de Miller dans les bureaux de production TF1), je ne relis que très très rarement les livres qui m’ont touchée (ou alors peut-être sans m’en rendre compte ! J’ai une si vague mémoire des noms propres et des histoires !). Ni ceux bien entendu qui m’ont déplu. Mais parcours parfois les pages cornées comme estampillées de mes livres, en cherche le passage ou la phrase qui m’a irradiée, séduite ou interrogée. D’ailleurs la plupart du temps je n’identifie plus ce qui m’a tant intéressée, poursuis plus avant ma lecture et plie de nouveaux coins.

| Le livre qui suscite en toi des envies symboliques d'autodafé ? Je voudrais littéralement en terroriser et incinérer plus d’un, préjugé. Mais je ne lis pas les autobiographies. Ni les manuels religieux. Ainsi par tracas d’impartialité, je m’abstiens. C’est dommage car, tu t’en doutes, j’aime beaucoup les incendies.

| On te propose de vivre éternellement dans un roman de ton choix, oui, mais lequel ? Non. Éternellement de mon choix résonne en oxymore. C’est un coup à rester coincée dans un roman d’Anne Rice ; mais tiens, puisqu’il trainait alentour ces derniers jours et que je veux bien jouer, pourquoi ne pas finir déifiée dans Albina et les hommes-chiens de Jodorowsky ou en souris dans le Radis géant.

| Quel est l'incunable que tu rêves de posséder, ton Saint Graal bibliophilique ? Bon alors déjà il m’a fallu chercher la définition d’incunable…Tu vois l’genre. Ensuite je ne quête pas vraiment les saints ni ne rêve particulièrement de posséder ; mais il me plairait de tomber hasardeusement sur certains secrets et genèses, d’exhumer quelques grimoires parcheminés, lettres, notes et mémoires intimes de solitaires, nomades, pionniers, femmes ou sorcières. Je les remettrais en terre ensuite parce que c’est assurément le seul organisme à pouvoir les honorer et préserver.

| Au bout d'une vie de lecture, et s'il n'en restait qu'un ? Plus d’un au bout allons ! J’aimerais que s’attardent et s’éternisent des pléiades de livres frères, achevés, détériorés, pliés, décousus et tachés, ou de longs manuscrits de mains aimées zonant aux bouts des miennes, jamais relus ou très vaguement parcourus. Non pour clore une vie, mais pour la poursuivre.

Noir Puma publiera AZMANDEH en septembre 2019. Une “soixantaine de pages griffées rouges, noires, blanches, recelées dans une couverture rigide résistante aux morsures. Ce dernier point est important.”

Pour mieux connaître et encourager ce projet en cours, rendez-vous sans gant ni jarretière ici :

https://www.helloasso.com/associations/noir%20puma/collectes/fff

#annadannunzio #letrangecouleurdeslarmesdetoncorps #daz #azmandeh #noirpuma #bookhousegirl #bookhouseboy #loupgarou #vampire #feminisme

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magic-office · 6 years ago

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Comment faire une soirée d’entreprise qui change vraiment ?

En tant qu’office manager, il y a 2 façons de faire : soit on déploie des trésors d’énergie pour faire encore plus fort que la dernière fois (même si ça veut dire gonfler le château gonflable soi-même), soit on abdique et on se dit que s’il y a à boire, personne ne se plaindra. On tient la solution pour que votre prochaine soirée en bouche un coin à tout le monde : “Close”, un spectacle immersif, privatisé le temps d’une soirée rien que pour vous.

C’est quoi, un spectacle immersif ?

Si vous ne savez pas ce qu’est l’immersif, sachez que le phénomène est sur le point de déferler en France. Le concept nous vient tout droit des {{esi:link 5356 anglo-saxons }} chez qui les shows immersifs font déjà un triomphe depuis presque 10 ans. Le plus connu : Sleep No More, un hôtel de 5 étages transformé en décor de Macbeth en plein New York. Ca fait 7 ans que ça dure et ça ne désemplit pas. Le principe : les spectateurs entrent directement dans le décor et peuvent circuler librement parmi les dédales de couloirs, escaliers et espaces mystérieux. Tout est possible : fouiller les tiroirs, lire les lettres, espionner les conversations, et peut-être même influencer le cours de l’histoire. Comme le résume un journaliste de Télérama qui a découvert le concept : “C’est être comme immergé dans un film avec la faculté magique de pouvoir déplacer soi-même la caméra.”

“Close”, de quoi ça parle ?

Close est la première création immersive en France. Vous serez plongés dans l’univers du cabaret Le Phénix, dernier refuge de liberté et de folie dans le Paris de 1917. Chaque soir, quand vient le couvre-feu, les artistes, les révolutionnaires et les marginaux s’y retrouvent pour faire la fête. Dans leur cabaret, ce sont parfois les femmes qui se battent et les hommes qui se maquillent. Alors que le monde est en train de basculer, vous n’aurez plus que votre instinct pour choisir votre camp. Dans ce spectacle, il n’y a ni scène, ni coulisses. Vous êtes libres de choisir où aller, qui suivre et à quelle porte écouter.

Découvrez l’univers du spectacle avec la bande-annonce de Close.

Quand et où peut-on voir le show ?

Close se jouera pendant un mois seulement du 9 avril au 4 mai 2019 dans un lieu hors du commun, en plein coeur du 11e arrondissement de Paris.

Puis-je privatiser “Close” pour mon entreprise ?

Exceptionnellement, Magic Office vous offre la possibilité d’organiser votre propre soirée dans ce lieu exceptionnel, en marge des représentations grand public. Vos invités vivront une expérience privilégiée dès l’envoi de leur invitation. Accueillis au bar du Phénix, vous pourrez leur offrir un cocktail et du champagne avant de leur faire vivre le spectacle, qui se jouera rien que pour eux. Après l’expérience répartie sur 3 étages dans des décors époustouflants, vous pourrez vous retrouver pour un dernier verre et des animations sur-mesure, comme un shooting photo sur plaque de verre avec un vrai appareil photo 1900 !

Comment convaincre mes supérieurs que ça vaut le coup ?

Parce que dans 5 ans, quand tout le monde ne parlera que de shows immersifs, vous pourrez dire que vous étiez les premiers.

Parce que c’est une expérience totale et sensorielle qui va bouleverser vos invités. Ils vont oublier l’heure qu’il est, et même de faire des stories insta.

Parce que l’{{esi:link 6284 événement }} est déjà packagé, du lieu jusqu’au traiteur en passant par les animations.

Parce que tout le monde se souviendra encore dans 10 ans de cette expérience hors du réel vécue ensemble.

Pour une privatisation ou un achat de billets groupés, vous pouvez contacter [email protected]

www.bigdrama.fr

#Office manager #Gestion des évènements #Fun #office hacking #top #welcome in the jungle #jungle welcome #people doc #région job #et pourquoi pas colline #la belle vie #we work #wework lab

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rambling-at-midnight · 6 years ago

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False Image: Part 3

“You sure you’re okay?” Charlie gives you a weird look as the two of you sip coffee in the employee room. Her computer is powering on at the reception desk. Charlie would probably die before she brought her computer into the employee's room.

You fake a smile. Ever since that first night of weird dreams, you haven’t been able to get a good night’s sleep. Dean and Sam are always talking to you, saying things you can almost make out. You almost can’t wait to move out. Maybe it’s because the walls of your apartment are so thin and they’re so loud that their voices are bleeding into your dreams. “I’m fine, really, Charlie.”

“You look tired.”

“Wow, way to compliment a girl,” you say sarcastically. “No wonder you and Kara are together. You must have swept her right off her feet.”

“I’m serious, Y/N,” she insists. “Maybe you should take a few days off.”

You blink and for a second she has short hair and is covered in blood, dread curdling in your stomach, but then you blink again and she’s back to normal, Charlie with her long red hair and bangs and Comic-Con shirt. “Really,” you barely manage. “I’m fine. I’m moving in two days, and after that I’ll be back to normal.”

She gives you a calculating look. “What’s really going on, Y/N?”

You shake your head. “Really, nothing—”

She sighs and starts toward you. In the fluorescent lights, her eyes look like they glow blue for a second. Why would fluorescent lights do that to brown eyes?

Some instinct you don’t know how you have tells you to get away, so you start to back away. “You know what, Charlie? I might just go home early—Garth can handle the rest of the patients, right?”

“I’ll be right back, Y/N,” she says, but the voice that comes out of her mouth isn’t hers. It sounds like a deep hiss. “You won’t even know I’ll be gone. I have to handle your hunter friends.”

You frown. “I don’t—none of my friends are hunters!” But the second you say that, you hear Dean say something, even though you know for a fact he’s at his apartment. There’s not even anyone that could sound like Dean in the clinic.

There’s not a single person in the clinic.

Your head is on a swivel as you stumble away from your best friend whose eyes are glowing. Are those blue lines on her skin too?

Dean’s voice nearly deafens you: “Y/N, snap out of it! Come on, you know what a djinn dream looks like!”

You suck in a rasping breath as the lock on your memories pops free. The djinn must be upping their game; when Dean got caught by one he knew that it wasn’t real.

You start to run. The town, bustling with people just moments earlier, has turned into a ghost town, and you can hear every footstep and panting gasp you take.

“I control this realm, Y/N!” Charlie yells after you, her voice Charlie again. “There’s nowhere you’ll be able to hide!”

“You’re not Charlie!” you yell. “She’s dead!” You turn a corner and skid to a stop as Charlie stands there, eyes wide and hands outstretched to you.

“Y/N, come back,” she says. “I’m not dead. I’m right here.”

You backtrack onto the main street, where cars should be right now, at the beginning of the workday, but there aren’t any.

“Y/N, come back!” Now Bobby calls, his voice singsong. “This is better and you know it! You’ll have a nice, fulfilling life here. You don’t like the slow burn? I can change that! You and Sam can already be together. I’m just here to make you happy.”

“You’re here to kill me,” you snap back. When you blink, Bobby is in front of you, his eyes glowing blue too.

He shrugs. “It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.”

“With that mouth, you could be a politician.” You spin on your heel but Crowley’s there to block your way.

“Come on, Y/N, be reasonable,” the djinn says with Crowley’s dry British accent and face. “We can work together! This can be the perfect world for you—I can make Donald Trump never have existed, I can make you and the Winchesters regular or hunters. You name it, you get it. You can’t tell me you’d turn that down.”

If you thought about it more, you’d say yes. If it wasn’t you v. the djinn, you’d say yes. If you weren’t so stubborn and defiant, you’d say yes and sink into the comfort of a lifetime where you can relax and sleep well at night, where the bags under your eyes won’t be as large as the ones they hand out at Target.

But it’s all fake, and you’d have to give in to have this life, and you are the most stubborn, persistent motherfucker you’ve ever known. You’d cut off your nose to spite your face.

So you sneer in his face and start to run away again, looking for anything you could use to kill yourself. Thank goodness Dean had lent you his father’s journal and you’d read it fully, or you wouldn’t know how to escape a djinn world.

“Y/N!” Dean yells after you, and for a moment you can’t breathe. In this world, Dean is happy and dating Cas. “What sort of psychopath chooses unhappiness over happiness, Y/N? This is what I want for you, Y/N!”

You spot a nearby house and change direction for it, tennis shoes providing pretty good traction for you on the pavement (you make a mental note to get some later instead of boots because boots are loud and clunky).

You swing open the door that should be locked so hard that it bounces off the wall and shuts behind you with a click, but you know that won’t do much difference.

The walls shudder and bend like they’re made out of flimsy cardboard. You duck your head and run for the kitchen, where there’ll be some knives you could use to… what? Slit your wrists? The self-preservation in you protests at that, but at the same time it’ll be saving your life. Talk about a paradox; it’s getting all Macbeth up in here.

You stop in your tracks as someone whispers your name. Your practical side whispers that it’s just the djinn, but why would the djinn pretend to sound like Sam when he’s crying?

Your pants drown out the sound of Sam’s voice so you hold your breath and wait for him to continue talking. Really, you don’t even need to breathe in this dream. He’s talking about two times slower than he actually does.

“Come on, Y/N,” he whispers. Is that the real Sam or the djinn tricking you? “Come on, Y/N. You know what a djinn dream looks like. You need to wake up.”

“Sam, we have to take her somewhere,” Dean says from a long way away. “Like a hospital, or—”

“What hospital could help with this, Dean?” Sam flares up and the house shudders over you. You immediately duck for falling objects, but the house isn’t real. It’s like all the loose objects have been glued to the walls and floors. You’re the only non-fixed thing.

“They could keep her alive for a bit longer, give her more time to figure things out—”

“That’s a big fat if, Dean,” Sam responds. You stumble over to the kitchen’s granite island and peer around, acutely aware of the djinn drawing closer.

“Why do you want me if Sam and Dean have already taken me off the needle?” you yell, unsure if the djinn will be able to hear you but willing to use any tactic to distract it. You almost yell, ‘You could go find another victim!’ but then realize that you came here to kill this motherfucker. If he runs and hides, knowing that you and the Winchesters are on his ass, he won’t surface for years, or ever.

With no response, you start to yank open drawers for a knife or anything that could kill you.

“I don’t want to take that chance, Dean! I can’t—we can’t lose anyone else. We can’t. She’s our little sister.”

Your cheeks burn and you freeze, a large knife clutched in your white-knuckled grip. After being in this supernatural coma for so long, you’d forgotten that people being alive and you living a normal lifestyle wasn’t the only thing the djinn had changed. In real life, Sam doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even have a crush on you.

“That’s right,” Sam, right behind you and talking at the normal speed, says. You whirl around and he smiles softly at you, a smile djinn-Sam uses that looks familiar but you know that it’s a smile reserved for the small group of people he’s ever been interested in romantically. It only looks familiar because the djinn’s been flashing it at you ever since it got you.

But even as you think that, you think you remember Sam smiling like that at you once, maybe three months ago, while you and him were drinking and Dean flirted heavily with a brunette wearing six-inch heels. Did he, or are you just thinking wishfully now?

“You’re thinking wishfully, Y/N,” the djinn-Sam says sadly, taking a step towards you, and you raise the knife threateningly, though you suppose pointing it at yourself would be more of a threat. “Sam knows perfectly well how abruptly a hunter’s life can end. Do you think he would have hesitated if he felt any differently? But I—” it takes another step and the frown clears. “I won’t hesitate if you don’t want me to.”

But you’re almost positive he’d smiled like that at you. You hadn’t noticed then, because you’re almost painfully obtuse, but when you’d been sleeping in the Impala later that night, you had thought that maybe, just maybe, Sam might have been flirting with you.

Of course, he hadn’t acted any different the next day so you’d settled your hopes and resolved yet again to just being a friend, until…

Sam had smiled at you like that another day, too, and it had been snowing. Dean had woken you up early, which was unusual since the both of you sleep late and respond aggressively to being woken, but it was snowing outside and the two of you had spent hours making a snow fort and snowball arsenal while Sam slept on in the motel bed, unawares. The sky hadn’t even been light when Dean had woken you up.

And then Sam had woken up and you and Dean weren’t there. He’d burst out of the motel room wearing pajamas and one sock, already about to shout, and a snowball had hit him right in the face, courtesy of you. The ensuing snowball fight had ended when someone else came out to yell at you three for being loud, and Sam had flashed a secretive grin at you, only it looked a little different than his usual secretive grins. And you hadn’t noticed.

“Hindsight really is 20/20,” you say, both as a reply to the djinn and your memory, and let out a deep breath. You feel like you’re about to vomit. You’re not one for suicide, apparently.

“Why do it now?” the djinn-Sam asks, and something in his voice stops the smooth metal blade from splitting your skin.

“Enlighten me,” you say after a pause, “as to how anything’s changed.”

“While you were busy running around, I took care of your hunter friends,” it shrugs.

“Not possible,” you shake your head. “You’re lying .”

“How do you know that?”

“Time in here isn’t slowed down, it’s sped up!” You gesture around. “Me running around was probably about half a minute in the real world.”

“Do you really want to take the chance?”

“Do I want to choose between a meaningless five minutes in here or a life out there, without the Winchesters, helping people?” You shake your head and scoff. “You’ve been in my head, you bastard. What do you think the choice is?”

You press the cold metal to your warm skin, suddenly very aware of how real everything feels, and the djinn lunges for you.

“Come on, Y/N,” Sam mutters, grasping your cold, limp hand in his own. You’re not supposed to be cold and limp. You’re supposed to be warm and strong. Your eyes move under your eyelids and he brightens for a second, but all too soon you settle and he slumps even lower.

He can hear the muted murmurs of Dean as he and Bobby talk on the phone, both frantically trying to think of ways to save you, but the only way Sam can think is by you killing yourself in the djinn dream, but you haven’t already. Why would you do it now?

Sam checks the time on his watch. It’s been nearly an hour since they last tried to give you water. You hadn’t responded and they’d had to turn you over so you wouldn’t choke to death.

To soothe his pounding heart, Sam puts his fingers on your wrist. It seems much smaller and more fragile than it does normally, even though you’re dwarfed by him even while healthy. Still, your heart pounds, albeit weakly, and you breathe shallowly, a sound that’s nearly drowned out by Sam’s louder breaths and Dean’s voice.

“Come on, Y/N,” Sam pleads, looking up so the tears don’t fall out of his eyes. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but you’ve got to wake up. Please, Y/N.” It hurts too much to say anything else, though there’s a lot left to say. He’d been trying to protect you by ignoring his feelings but now, looking at you so close to death, all the arguments he’d built up in his head seem so empty and meaningless. You’re still going to die; you’re a hunter, and Sam’s never going to be able to tell you that he likes you more than a brother should love his sister.

He almost can’t remember hunting without you. Haven’t you always been in the backseat, making references to books you’d read in high school and messing around too much with your knives?

Hasn’t Sam always gotten tongue-tied whenever you’d smiled at him? Hadn’t his stomach always flipped at the sound of your voice?

“Cas, come on,” Dean mutters, dialing his number as he stomps back into the room. “Sam, you try to get Cas’s angel ass down here. Pray, call him, shout, anything. I’m not—” Dean’s face crumples for just a second as he looks at your still form. “If that was you or me, Y/N would be making jokes about Sleeping Beauty, you know?”

For a moment Sam’s fingers slip and he panics that your heart will stop and he won’t be able to tell. The rush of emotion makes tears surge up to his eyes but the small pounding his rough calluses can make out soothes his nerves. “Yeah,” he agrees and starts to call Cas from his phone. When the angel doesn’t answer, he tries Dean’s phone.

“Listen, Sam, I really gotta go kill this djinn, all right?” Dean says.

“You’re going to leave Y/N?”

“It’ll only take a second, and anyway, it’s what Y/N would want—”

Sam stands up, Cas set aside for the moment, and your hand falls back to the makeshift bed the brothers had made. Your chest stops rising and falling. “Y/N would want you with her when she wakes up!”

“And if she doesn’t, I don’t want to miss this chance!” Dean retorts, looking down so Sam won’t see the glossy sheen on his eyes as he grips the silver knife dipped in lamb’s blood.

“Don’t say that,” Sam pleads. If his older brother thinks you’re not going to make it, then you’re not, and you have to make it. You have to. “Don’t you dare say that, Dean. Y/N’s going to be fine .” He turns his back on Dean and the older brother leaves the room, leaving the space silent except for Sam’s sniffles.

Except it shouldn’t be quiet.

Sam’s eyes widen with dawning horror when he looks at you and sees no motion—you’re not breathing, your eyes aren’t twitching. “Y/N?”

Tears fall from his eyes for the first time as he collapses to his knees in front of your lax form, hands fumbling to your wrist and neck for a pulse. There isn’t one. “Oh, God, Y/N,” he sobs, one hand covering his mouth. “Come on, Y/N. Cas, get down here!” If it was any other person, Sam would be able to stand, do something, anything, kill that motherfucking djinn that did this to you, but you were his strength, legs, everything. “Please, Cas. Please.” Sam closes his eyes and two more tears fall out of his eyes, but they don’t bring you back to life. Sam, of all people, should know tears don’t save people.

A breeze rustles Sam’s hair and he staggers to his feet while turning around. Cas stands there in his usual trench coat and tie. He doesn’t even get to ask where Dean is before Sam’s clocked him and shoves him against the wall. “Save her, you bastard, or I swear to God I’ll kill you,” Sam growls.

Cas blinks at him. “You’ll have to let me go, Sam.”

“Is—is she—” Sam tries to ask as he takes a step back from Cas, but the word won’t come out of his mouth: dead. Is Y/N dead?

No, of course not. Y/N can’t die. You of all people should have seen that. Y/N’s the special breed of people that can’t die, Sam.

But what Cas says is: “Not yet.”

Not no. Not she can’t die.

She is dying.

“Not yet,” Cas repeats. “You will have to guard us while I enter her head. I will not be present.”

“How long will it take?” Sam asks desperately.

“It may not work,” Cas warns him. “She only has six minutes and one second left until all brain activity stops.”

“What are you waiting for, then?” Sam snaps, taking his gun out of his waistband. “Trust me, that djinn is dead the second I see him.”

Cas doesn’t mention that Sam doesn’t look like he’s capable of killing anything right now; his cheeks are shiny with tears, fingers dirty, and lip bleeding from biting it hard enough to break skin.

The angel touches your forehead and his eyes begin to glow, increasing in brightness until Sam can’t stand to look at him.

He turns to point his gun at the doorway just as the djinn appears.

If Cas wasn’t an angel, he would have been severely disoriented as he entered your mind. He knows that djinn seconds are much faster than real seconds, but he hadn’t anticipated how much faster; everyone around him is a blur. You kiss Sam, you move into his apartment and Dean moves into Cas’s, Sam goes to work and you stay at home to be an author, you wake up in the same bed with Sam, Sam brings home a dog for you, Sam kisses you, and he proposes to you after four years of dating all in the first five seconds that Cas arrives.

He lifts up his hand and everything freezes, except for you.

You look around frantically when your fiance, whom you’d been just about to kiss, and all the noise of the restaurant clapping, stops, leaving your ears ringing. Everything is frozen. A lock of Sam’s hair is still falling over his forehead, a drop of water hangs suspended in the air, a little girl’s dress has turned to stone when before it was light as air.

“Y/N, we have to hurry,” Cas says to you, maneuvering his way through the frozen people. You’ve never seen him wearing a trench coat before. Cas is a doctor that prefers sweaters and slacks.

“Cas, what’s going on?”

“We have five minutes and forty-five seconds,” he replies.

You back away from. “Wait—what did you mean, five minutes and forty-five seconds?”

“Roughly,” the angel clarifies. “It generally takes seven minutes for all brain activity to stop after your heart stops beating.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Y/N, you are in a djinn dream,” the angel says, tilting his head and taking another step toward you. “You were hunting the monster when it got you. Sam and Dean are very worried about you. Five minutes and forty-four-point-five seconds. It would appear that time is speeding up.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” you reply. “Cas, get out of here! This must be a bad dream or something. I don’t know what you’re saying,” you say slowly, hoping dream-Cas will get the message.

“Y/N, the djinn locked away your memories. You have to remember. I can help—” Cas takes a step toward you, his hand raised to tap your forehead, but you duck away from him and pinch your arm.

You don’t wake up. Everything stays frozen.

“This is the most vivid dream I’ve ever had,” you mutter, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Five minutes and forty-four seconds,” Cas says. “Y/N, you have to remember. Just try to remember, all right?”

You pat your back pockets. In dreams, cell phones don’t exist, and you can’t read books or tell time, right? But you pull out your phone and check the time—6:48 p.m.

“Y/N, there are people right now, people out there that need you!” the angel says, a hint of frustration tainting his voice.

“Out where?” you shout.

“Outside your head! Just let me restore your memories—”

You dodge his hand again, some baser instinct you don’t recognize telling you to shove a table at him and run. The table moves but when your body slams against the door and you fumble to open it, it doesn’t budge. “Please wake up, please wake up,” you whisper under your breath as you kick the door. In just a second you’ll wake up next to Sam to restart the day. “Come on !” You look up and everything outside is pitch-black. There are no stars or lights. It’s like there’s nothing outside at all.

“It won’t open because there’s nothing out there,” Cas says softly. “If you don’t leave the dream now, you’ll walk out there into nothing and your brain will shut down and you’ll be dead. Sam will be devastated and so will Dean. They might make a deal with a demon to bring you back, but few demons ever get close to the Winchesters.”

You lean against the door, forehead against cool glass, and a single tear falls from your eye and rolls down your cheek. “This is the worst dream I’ve ever had, hands down.”

“Y/N, think about it,” Cas pushes. “Do you remember your mother?”

You nod your head.

“How did you escape her if not for Sam and Dean rescuing you?”

“I went to college and never came back,” you reply. “I’m an author now, I’m writing a series—”

“Sam and Dean saved you when your mother tried to kill you because she was possessed by a demon. When they told you that, you’d said you thought she was just having an off day. Y/N, do you remember? You have to remember!”

Your eyes fly open. You remember, vaguely, what your mother looked like—how had you not thought it was weird you couldn’t remember what your own mother looked like? You remember wrestling with her when she pulled a knife on you. Sam and Dean had stabbed her right through the heart and you’d been ecstatic when both woman and demon died.

“The djinn got me?” you ask, turning around, but Cas has disappeared. “Cas?”

The bullets Sam loads into the djinn only seem to anger it.

“Dean?” Sam yells. He doesn’t hear a response. The djinn takes advantage of his brief distraction and lunges at him, knocking the gun right out of his hands.

“I’m going to kill you, with or without that gun,” Sam growls. The djinn aims a punch at him that he can’t see because of his teary eyes and he reels back, right into Cas. The light fades as the angel’s connection with you is broken.

Sam pushes himself off Cas and tackles the djinn around the waist. They both hit the ground and start to wrestle. Sam gets three good punches right to the djinn’s face, but the djinn brings his knee up into Sam’s stomach and he doubles over, coughing.

“Sam!” Cas yells as the djinn’s hands get dangerously close to his head.

“Yep,” he chokes out, scrambling backwards on his butt to get his bearings. He’s going to tear this djinn limb from limb for hurting you. “How’s Y/N?”

The djinn grabs Sam by the shirt and hauls him up, smiling to reveal bloody teeth. “Your girl’s gone now.”

Sam shakes his head. “You can’t kill her.”

The djinn looks pointedly at the room where you’re lying motionlessly, Cas hovering over you. “Just did. And I’m going to kill you and your brother and your friend, too.”

Sam grins and blows a lock of hair out of his eyes. “I doubt it.”

“The djinn took her memories,” Cas says sadly, yanking the djinn and hunter away from each other. “I don’t know if I was in there long enough for her to remember.”

The djinn grins pointedly at Sam, who clenches his jaw. “Cas, let go of me,” he says in a low, controlled voice that scares even the angel.

Everything unfreezes. Everyone looks around mid-clap, looking for the new fiancee, and Sam’s eyes lock onto yours immediately. “Y/N? What just happened?”

“I—” you can’t breathe all of a sudden as you remember the first world the djinn had made for you. Outside your mind is a fucked-up world where you might die bloody, a world where you’re not supposed to love Sam and he doesn’t love you. Right here, though, this is perfect, just like it’s supposed to be.

The walls shudder around you, just like they’d shuddered when you’d been a vet in that house about to kill yourself, as Cas, the angel Cas, says to your dying body, “Four minutes.”

Four minutes that could be a whole lifetime.

“I’m sorry,” you say to the Sam you wish for. “This hurts, doesn’t it?”

“What are you—”

You stride across the room, feeling like you’re wearing your hunting gear instead of a nice blouse and soft jeans, and stand on your tiptoes to kiss Sam on the lips. “I guess this is one way to figure out what you really want.”

“Y/N—”

You turn around and eye the imaginary steak knife you’d used to eat an imaginary steak. It’ll feel real, no matter how imaginary it actually is. This is the end of being able to look at Sam the way you want to and seeing him look at you the same way. You’re going to wake up and Sam and Dean are going to be relieved but not overly so, because you’re just an annoying girl they sort-of adopted when they saved you.

The handle of the knife is cool when you pick it up and Sam grabs onto your wrist, looking at you intently. “You want to leave me, Y/N?”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. He’s turned into a djinn-Sam, not the Sam you want. “But I’m not into imaginary worlds.”

“It will feel real.”

You shake your head. “But I’ll know.”

You rest the cool metal on your wrist, wincing already against the pain you think will come, even though it’s not real.

You can’t draw it out. The physical pain will cripple you, not to mention staring into Sam’s eyes, unimaginably sad as he watches you kill yourself. They look so real. No wonder you were fooled.

You squeeze your eyes shut and yank your arm back.

The slash does hurt, just like you’d thought it would.

“Hey!”

Dean tries to pull Sam off the djinn’s bloody form but his younger brother shakes him off, snarling and crying as he slams his fists again and again on the monster’s face.

“Hey! Sammy!” Dean hooks his arms under Sam’s armpits and drags him, kicking and screaming, off the monster, and tosses the silver knife dipped in lamb’s blood to Cas. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t really need to. Cas nods and pads over to the djinn, moaning on the ground. His expression doesn’t change when he eases the knife into the djinn’s flesh, ignoring the monster’s final moans as it dies.

“Sam, calm down !” Dean yells as his brother struggles to go back to the djinn.

“I wanted to kill him!” Sam bellows. “Cas, bring him back so I can kill him!”

Cas looks at Dean, who shakes his head. He stands and wipes the knife off on his coat before retreating to the doorway of the room where you’re laying. He looks at the brothers and shakes his head. Dean’s face crumples but he doesn’t let go of Sam as Cas disappears into the dimly lighted area, probably to see if there’s any hope at all.

“Dean, let me go !” Sam yells, trying to push away from his older brother, but emotion and exertion have taken too much out of him, so Dean just pulls him to his chest and braces against the weak blows that eventually stop as Sam begins to cry. Sam twists his hands in his older brother’s coat and sobs against his chest, tired and heartbroken.

Dean’s heart breaks too, twice, for his little brother and little sister. You were the glue that kept him and Sam together, always ready to call them dumbasses and have them sit down and sort through their issues.

And his little brother had practically worshipped you without even knowing it. He sounds like a little kid again, hiccuping and coughing with each sob that tears up his throat, because his goddess has just died and he doesn’t know what to do.

Dean just closes his eyes, rests his head against the wall, and hugs his brother’s head to his chest. It’s all he can do.

Your first gasp of air burns your throat, and you immediately raise your arm so you can check for cuts. Your skin is clear and whole. You’re alive, you think. Everything is a little greyer than it had been in the djinn dream, but Cas is wearing his regular trench coat and tilting his head at you like he always does.

You wince as something smashes just a little ways away. “What—” Your voice comes out as a croak so you swallow a few times before trying again. “What’s going on?”

“They’re killing the djinn,” Cas responds.

“Uh, Cas,” you start, closing your eyes because even the small amount of light filtering into the room hurts them, “can you do me a favor? Other than the solid you just did me, obviously.”

“Of course.”

You beckon him over. Once he’s kneeling by the side of whatever you’re lying on, you whisper, “Don’t tell Sam what my dream world was, okay? Please? Just agree with whatever I say it was.”

Cas frowns but nods.

“All right.” You close your eyes and brace yourself. “Time to make my dramatic entrance.”

“Excuse me?”

“Help me up, please,” you command, wincing as you try to sit up. The djinn had hit you pretty hard in order to get near enough to you to touch you. You’re pretty sure you have some broken bones.

“I should heal you before you attempt that,” Cas says and puts his hand on your stomach. You groan as warmth spreads from his hand to your whole body, making your ribs, right arm, and middle finger smart. You must have broken all those bones during the fight. Good thing you have Cas. “It would appear that your ankle is also sprained, but too much angel healing could burn you up inside. Also, I used much of my grace to enter your mind.”

“That’s fine,” you wheeze. “I’ll hop around.”

“I believe they may need me,” Cas says, glancing back into the room. You wave a hand at him to go and try to sit up on your own. He spares you a worried look as he exits but you manage a tight smile at him.

You’re sitting up and leaning against the wall by the time the fighting dies down, but Sam’s yelling incomprehensibly and you don’t know why. A little bit of pressure quickly reveals which ankle you’d sprained, and you gasp at the pain. Your good leg wobbles when you try to stand up and your vision goes black, so you sit back down heavily.

Cas shakes his head at Sam and Dean, presumably (you can’t see them) before helping you to stand up.

“Why’d you shake your head?” you ask, gripping onto his shoulder so tightly he’d wince if it was his actual body.

“They think you’re dead, so I told them you’re not,” he replies. “Well, you were. But you’re better now.”

You hate having to lean on Cas as you two slowly start to pad toward where you know the brothers are, him walking and you hopping. “Why…” You cough and bend over. Cas is the only thing holding you up by now. “Why am I so weak?”

“You just came back from the dead, and djinn poison is coursing through your veins,” Cas replies, slinging your arm over his shoulders and wrapping one of his around your waist. “You will need lots of rest in order to recuperate.”

“Huh.” You cough again and frown at the sound of someone crying. “Why’s… who’s crying? Why?”

Cas also frowns. “Sam is crying because of an abrupt increase of emotion. That generally happens because the body has to release the emotion somehow so they process—”

“I mean, like, why does he have such increased emotions?” you interrupt. “He’s killed plenty of monsters without bursting into tears before.”

“I don’t understand human emotions,” the angel replies. “You’ll have to figure that out yourself.”

You roll your eyes and reach out for the door frame so you can lean against that more than Cas as you take in the scene in front of you. Sam is sobbing into Dean’s shirt and Dean is hugging him tightly. The djinn’s body lays a few feet away from them, and such pure rage courses through you at the sight of it that you can summon enough strength to stumble away from Cas and kick at it—with your bad foot. You hiss and nearly fall down but Cas catches you.

Dean opens his eyes at the sound and his mouth drops open. He shoves Sam away and scrambles to his feet. His hug is so enthusiastic that he lifts you off the ground and spins you around. You laugh and hug him for a second before pushing away but keep one hand on his chest for balance. “Why’d you take away my kill?” you immediately joke. It’s always best to lighten the moment. You’re good at that. Over Dean’s shoulder, you see Cas tap Sam and the blood disappear from his clothes and skin, but Sam doesn’t notice. He’s just staring at you with an open mouth.

“Cas did, technically,” Dean replies, wiping at his eyes.

You smile. “It’s nice to see that you’d be sad to see me gone, Deano.”

“I wasn’t crying because of you,” he jokes back. “I got some dust in my eyes.”

You cough aggressively at the mention of dust and Dean immediately steadies you. “It is pretty dusty, yeah,” you croak, your eyes watering at the coughs tearing up your tender throat.

You turn to Sam, then, feeling a little awkward. It’s wrong on so many levels to think about him that way. He’ll probably get weirded out if he learns that you think about him that way. You open your mouth, racking your brain for some witty remark, but his shiny cheeks distract you, and eventually you just close your mouth again.

Dean watches all this with a secret eye roll to Cas, who is confused. If the two of you still think that there’s no romantic attraction after this, he’ll probably scream. Sam is looking at you like you’re a literal angel (a good one, obviously), and you’re looking at him shyly. You’re so in love it makes him want to barf.

“Come on, Sammy,” you eventually say, but the remark sounds forced and awkward. “You didn’t really think a djinn would take me out, did you?”

He lets out a laugh that sounds more like a sob and crosses the room with one stride before sweeping you up just like Dean, only he doesn’t let you down. You wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze for a moment before letting go, but he doesn’t bend to let you down.

“Come on, Sam, I’m fine,” you mutter, glancing awkwardly back at Dean and Cas, who are very obviously pretending that they’re not paying attention.

“Sorry,” he mutters, burying his face in your collarbone. You can feel a few tears drip down your skin (why is he still crying?) but don’t make any comment. “It’s just unnerving to see you look so dead.”

You cough into the crook of your elbow. “Well, I’m fine now. And you and Dean get hurt pretty much every hunt, so we really don’t have to make a big deal out of this…” You look meaningfully at Dean and Cas. They know perfectly well how much you hate being the center of attention.

“Well, technically, Y/N, you died,” Cas says obliviously. Dean rolls his eyes at him but still claps him on the shoulder and pulls him into a hug. They exchange whispers for the few seconds they hold the hug, but you can’t hear what they’re saying.

You stifle a yawn behind your hand.

“Sam, Y/N’s tired. Let’s head back to the bunker, all right?” Dean suggests.

“Y/N will need to rest for a few days, as she is still infected with djinn poison. I also sense that her heartbeat hasn’t fully stabilised yet, which could lead to serious health risks such as tachycardia or cardiac arrest,” Cas puts in. Both Sam and Dean grimace while you roll your eyes.

“It’s not that big of a deal, I’m fine ,” you start and then shriek a little as Sam sweeps you up into his arms. “Samuel, put me down .”

“You heard Cas, you need to rest,” he replies, trying to grin at you like he normally would, but his eyes are worried instead of playful. You let out a huff when he doesn’t let you down even after you try to push him away and cross your arms and glare when he starts to walk.

“This is humiliating ,” you whine, glaring ferociously at Dean when he snorts. “I’m not even injured!” You yawn again.

“That is not true. I healed her ribs, arm, and middle finger, which were broken,” Cas adds, making the brothers frown. “However, I did not have enough ‘mojo’—” he uses finger quotes and you smile against your will— “to heal her sprained ankle. Also, that would possibly have made her combust. Djinn poison and angel grace do not mix well.”

“Good thing he did heal my hand, so I can do this,” you say, sticking your middle finger up at the three men. “I hate all of you. Sam, let me down .” You try to wriggle out of his arms but his grip on you is iron-strong. “I still have one good leg!” Dean shakes his head and opens the door of the abandoned warehouse the djinn had been hiding in.

“Y/N, you just died. Shut up and let me carry you,” he responds. You elbow him in the chest. Sam grunts but only tightens his grip on you.

This hurts you more than it should. Sam is pointedly not looking at you (you don’t know why), but you’re so used to being near him all the time. You’re going to make a mistake at some point: reach for his hand, try to hug him for no reason, and then your secret will be up and the Winchesters will turn you out. Sam will be the one to shut the door behind you.

When he steps outside with you in his arms, the sunlight makes your head pound and you wince.

“Hey, Y/N?” Sam asks once everyone’s in the car. In a move that had surprised everyone except Dean, Sam had insisted on sitting in the backseat with you, which let Cas and Dean have more time to pretend that they’re not romantically involved. They’re not slick. Meanwhile, you and Sam are all cramped up in the back and you’re thinking about the djinn world, where Sam was the driver and you were the passenger, both of you all smiles and grins, holding hands as the car flew.

“Yeah?”

“What was your djinn world like?”

Cas looks at you through the mirror. You press your lips together before hesitantly saying, “I was a vet. You and Dean were firefighters. Um, Cas was a detective. Basically all our friends were alive. Charlie, Jo, Ellen, Bobby, et cetera.” You smile a bit at the memory. “We lived in adjacent apartments. I had a cat.”

“I’m proud of you, kid,” Dean says. “It’s hard to wake up from… that.”

You grin. “What can I say? I’m not into fantasies.” When something touches your hand, you yank it back instinctively and whip your head around. Sam looks at you from under his shaggy bangs, looking every bit the puppy he is inside. Damn it, he had looked at you like that when he had first asked you out on a date, and when he’d wanted to go to an amusement park with you, and the first time you and him had done it. But not really.

God, you’re such a creep. You fantasized about your best friend in that way. That’s messed up.

“I just want to make sure your heart keeps beating,” he whispers so Cas and Dean don’t hear.

You relax slightly. Of course. He’s all business, as always. You’ll just follow Sam’s example—fake it ‘til you make it, right? Still, you can’t relax as he takes your hand, and you think Sam can tell, because he keeps glancing at you out the corner of his eyes.

@lemirabitur @annymcervantes

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfic #reader x sam winchester #reader insert #supernatural #spn

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we-players · 3 months ago

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Happy Halloween! Here's a shot from 2014's Macbeth at Fort Point

#macbeth #macbeth at fort point #site-integrated theatre #site-specific work #fort point

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taycofftoadventure · 6 years ago

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Road Trip Through the UK Part 2: Scotland

Scotland is a wild and magical destination. Even more beautiful and mountainous than I imagined- the land in this region is a feast for the eyes and the soul. I was so thrilled to get to explore the country by the roadside. I only wish I’d more time. There is a wealth of things to do and see.

We drove over the border of Great Britain and headed toward the Scottish capital of Edinburgh. Still early spring, we landed on the Easter holiday, but the town was vibrant. Once parked at our hotel, we eagerly headed on foot toward the Royal Mile- the definitive main drag. People were bustling about the famous Witchery and sights, but we dove off the beaten path down a small passageway between the buildings to dine at The Devil’s Advocate . Great gastropub food but very Scottish, with a good whisky selection. We definitely warmed up and had plenty to walk off, as we headed to the iconic Edinburgh Castle. The castle is a must-do and it’s chock full of royal treachery, intrigue, and history. We really enjoyed seeing where the royals lived as well as the jail in the castle depths that held American prisoners of war. The walls speak volumes via the etchings of the prisoners or in the mysterious bones discovered inside. Don’t miss the Soldier’s Dog Cemetery, which takes up prime real estate with a view of the city. It’s a bit of heart in a place that feels a pretty dark in its history.

After the castle, we wandered down the Royal Mile to St. Giles Cathedral. We took in their Easter concert while marveling at one the most beautiful cathedral ceilings I’ve come across. Founded in 1124, the church is quite busy and offers tours and music regularly. Following a much needed nap, we had excellent seafood and service at Fishers in the City .

Driving into the Highlands of Scotland is unforgettable- but be warned, not a ton of gas stations on our route. Be sure to fill your tank when you can. As Macbeth fans, we headed toward Inverness. It’s conveniently by Loch Ness, which I’ve always wanted to see since childhood. No Nessie sightings, but it’s a beautiful region. We drove by Castle Urquhart and took some photos without going in- I think as castles go, it’s a little more limited. Along our route, we did stop by Eilean Donan Castle dating back to the 13th century. It’s a much more picturesque fully restored castle stop with tours. It’s on an island where three lochs (or lakes) meet, so it’s a prime location.

We traveled west to the great Isle of Skye. It feels like the edge of the world. A rugged landscape surrounded by wide waterways- this region feels like it’s the land of giants. We stayed at Sconser Lodge, a former clan hunting lodge built in 1871 that sits a few yards from the water. The accommodations are lovely, and it’s run by a kind family. The pub is quite cozy, the whisky is on point, and if you miss the fresh scallops (fished right outside)- I’ll be sad.

The quaint village of Portee is nearby and we drove through on our way to see the Old Man of Storr. The view from the hike is sublime as you go up the rocky hillside of the Storr. The trail isn’t particularly easy, so bring your water and good shoes- but it’s worth it. The land feels unchanged from the past and the view is enchanting and primordial. As you drive around, keep an eye out for the Highland cows that are especially bred to endure the cold with their long hair.

The next morning, we hiked The Fairy Pools on the edge of the Black Cuillins. The cold pools are a vibrant blue-green and look like portals to Narnia. There is talk of them being swimmable in warmer months. The trail meanders through a series of waterfalls and its rocky landscape is quite dramatic. They shot the Michael Fassbender Macbeth nearby.

As you head back down south, keep your eyes peeled for the Hogwarts Express or the Glenfinnan Viaduct portion of the railway. It’s located just outside Fort William and there are some trails in the area to snap a good photo. Nearby, we stopped for lunch in Glencoe and got a glimpse of the great, snow-capped Ben Nevis. It’s the highest peak in the UK and attracts hikers and sightseers.

If you have the time, Glasgow is a worthy stop. We missed it on our trip sadly, but I do hear wonderful things- especially about the people of Glasgow. Glaswegians say the town is a people’s city with amazing music, shopping, and architecture.

Scotland is enchanting and I fell utterly in love. If you venture there, don’t miss the Highlands where there seems to be more mountains than people. Driving through the rugged landscape allowed us a great deal of freedom and, while it’s tricky to drive on the other side of the road, it was worth it to reach these far-flung places. You’ll feel a long, long way from home, but that’s the idea- right?

#scotland #road trip #travel #travel tips #travel blog #isle of skye #edinburgh #highlands

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details-beast · 2 years ago

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32 - À la manière de... William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare est probablement l'un des auteurs les plus impressionnants à aborder sur une scène improvisée. Son théâtre est riche et complexe, mais aussi l'un des plus délicieux. Il y a matière à puiser dedans pour jouer de nombreuses scènes sans jamais avoir l'impression de tourner en rond - enfin, sauf si vous avez cerné l'être humain dans son intégralité, ainsi que les grandes questions de son époque... ;).

C'est aussi l'un des auteurs les plus adaptés au théâtre. Il est encore d'actualité car les sujets et les thèmes qu'il abordait, au delà de ses trames complexes, résonnent toujours chez nous.

Il s'agira donc de trouver un moyen de l'aborder le plus simplement possible, avec les outils dont nous disposons : exit le phrasé à la manière du pentamètre iambique utilisé par Shakespeare, qui de toute façon n'existe pas en français (nous n'utilisons pas d'accents toniques, et écrire en 10 syllabes est plus compliqué en français, qu'en anglais).

Et vu la durée d'une scène de match face à la richesse de ses écrits, il est intéressant de choisir le style qui a fait sa notoriété: ses tragédies. Plus précisément, il s'agit d'utiliser les éléments de jeu suivant :

Le jeu dramatique

La diction théâtralisée

Un grand thème

Définir les personnages de la scène

Pour rappel, Le jeu dramatique est un jeu qui se veut plutôt réaliste. On minimise les bruitages et les mimes et on valorise le jeu vrai - On ne se vide pas de son plaisir de jouer, ni on ne tombe dans un jeu grave où tout est problématique !

Pour la diction, nous nous efforcerons de faire exister tous les phonèmes de nos phrases :

J'suis tell'ment fier de toi A'l'exandra, tu l'mérites vraiment s'poste !

Je suis tellement fier de toi Alexandra, tu le mérites vraiment ce poste !

Puis si on pousse dans le style... en exagérant un peu :

Vous m'emplissez de fierté.. ma tendre Alexandra, car vous êtes sans le moindre doute la personne qu'il fallait_à ce poste

Quelques thèmes clés de ses tragédies les plus emblématiques :

La mélancolie. Hamlet

L'amour. Roméo et Juliette

Le vieillissement. King Lear

La jalousie. Othello

Le pouvoir. MacBeth

La trahison. Richard III

La mort est souvent présente, pour ce qu'elle inspire, déclenche ou dans tous les comportements que l'on retrouve autour d'elle. Et qu'elle soit présente pour pas, les enjeux des personnages clés sont toujours forts.

Les archétypes de personnages souvent présent :

Le protagoniste

L'antagoniste

Le mentor/le meilleur ami

L'héroine

Le dupe (que l'on utilise ou sacrifie)

Le fou/le clown (ajoute de la légèreté ou de l'ironie dans l'histoire)

Les personnages peuvent parfois cumuler plusieurs rôles (comme Falstaff qui incarne à la fois le clown et le mentor !)

Si vous voulez un caucus simple de comparée pour un match, choisissez un thème et 2-3 personnages, puis jouez 2-3 scènes maxi selon la durée. Ou pourquoi pas une seule scène, avec ou sans entrée/sortie !

Quelques outils forts appréciables que vous pouvez ajouter pour étoffer votre Shakespeare :

Utilisation des monologues

Répliques tuilées (les répliques s'enchainent, sauf silence assumé)

Utilisation du vouvoiement (sauf en cas de familiarité)

Dilemmes (les personnages sont travaillés par le thème)

Travail sur les prénoms (oubliez Martine et Michel ici...)

Utilisations d'images, de métaphores et d'adjectifs

Langage soutenu

Point intéressant : Pour pouvoir décrire les comportements les plus vils de la haute société sans risquer de se faire couper la tête, Shakespeare mettait en scène des nobles dans d'autres pays.

Les monologues peuvent parler d'un thème restreint et futile avec beaucoup de mots comme ici avec Falstaff qui parle du vin :

youtube

... mais Shakespeare a aussi recourt à des phrases qui impliquent beaucoup de choses en très peu de mots. "ripeness is all" - "Être mûr, voilà tout" ou encore le fameux "to be, or not to be".

Un monologue peut également être un aperçu des troubles qui habitent les personnages, et l'occasion de voir le sujet que l'on aborde au delà de la trame :

youtube

#Youtube

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yeonchi · 4 years ago

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Kisekae Insights #16: Hiroki and Akari’s Strawberry Mysteries Part 2 (with IRL context)

Hiroki and Akari’s relationship goes on the biggest rollercoaster you’ve ever seen in this project. Remember Zi-O Rule 3 and throw all sense, logic and justice out the window, because a lot of what I’m about to tell you would be illogical or illegal in real life.

The last instalment only covered one of the storylines that was inspired by the final episodes of TVB dramas from 2013-14; this instalment will cover two more along with another one that absolutely tops all of them even though it didn’t get adapted. As such, I would like to remind everyone that there are content (trigger) warnings for themes associated with mental illness, suicide and domestic violence.

These are the darkest storylines that I’ve ever written for the project. In fact, that was the first time I delved into darker themes, so even to this day, there are some places where I feel I went a bit too far. However, I don’t want to change what I’ve written (at least the important bits), so I’m going to live with it and learn from it (just as I’m doing now).

After reading both instalments, if you think that I’m an incel or a creep or whatever, then I don’t blame you. Likewise, it is your choice to decide whether you want to pity me or not.

Well then, it’s time to continue deeper into the rabbit hole.

The absolute state of the next generation

This storyline covers all of Series 8 and 9, but I’ll just cover the major highlights. It’s time to go further down this rabbit hole.

Some time after the Battle of Koshi Castle and the Manchester Campaign, Hiroki and Akari became companions of the Doctor at the start of 2014. In May 2014, halfway into Series 8, Maurice Mouseling of the Takeda Army asks the Doctor for help fighting Girl Power and he heads to Shizuoka with Hiroki and Akari.

The Takeda Army were on an expedition to Kyōto when they were attacked by Girl Power, who are led by Narutaki and Daniel and camped at Mikatagahara. As the Takeda engages Girl Power in battle, they taunt Hiroki by telling him that he is ugly and that Akari hates him. Incensed, Hiroki charges into battle, followed by the Doctor, Maurice and the Takeda cavalry. They manage to drive Girl Power back to Hamamatsu Castle, but fearing an ambush, the Takeda decided to camp outside for the night.

Before sunrise the next day, a group of ninjas attack the camp and set it on fire. Amongst the commotion, Hiroki tries to find Akari, but when he does, they look at each other for a moment before Akari runs off; her betrayal had been arranged by Daniel and Girl Power. Following the battle, Angelina, Maurice’s daughter, takes Akari’s place as the Doctor’s companion alongside Hiroki.

Daniel takes over the leadership of Girl Power alongside Akari and Zoey, who were originally the leaders of the own factions before forming Girl Power. In response, three Girl Power members, Maya, Christie and Anna, leave Girl Power and become the Advice Girls, who attempt to convince Hiroki to move on from Akari but end up giving him prophecies like the Three Witches in Shakespeare’s Macbeth (I only know this because I was learning about Macbeth in school at the time, I don’t know why other people didn’t like it because I sure liked it enough to incorporate it in my project).

In June 2014, Girl Power leads an operation to free Shaun from the underground prison base where he is held. Hiroki meets with the Hongmen, a triad-like group with affiliations to UNIT, and plots with a few members to kidnap a Girl Power officer for ransom. They kidnap an officer, Vincent, whose father owns a Chinese restaurant and as if by coincidence, Akari is with him as well. Hiroki calls Vincent’s father and asks him for $50 million (it made sense in HKD, but considering the size of the restaurant I based this on, I eventually realised that it didn’t make much sense in AUD). He also low-key sabotages his operation by tying Vincent’s arms with a reef knot, making his location on the wall so that Vincent’s father would see it when he calls him again, and saying “I’m sorry, Akari, I am so so sorry” when he chloroforms her after calling for Vincent.

Vincent’s father sees the location and goes there to find his son. Vincent manages to free himself and Akari before they find a car and get away with his father after he provides him with a distraction. Hiroki and his co-conspirators manage to burn their car and get away as the police arrive.

Later, when Zoey leads ten Dalek ships to attack Yokohama, Narutaki confronts Hiroki and reveals that she knows about the kidnapping; he tells her that Akari was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and that he never intended on killing anyone. This was why he sabotaged the kidnapping that he set up (and also to show everyone that he was fucking bananas). In return for her silence, Narutaki asks Hiroki to stop attacking the ships and instead do something to disorient them for a while so that Girl Power’s invasion of Equestria would be delayed.

This portion of the storyline was based off the kidnapping storyline from Brother’s Keeper (巨輪), with Hiroki playing the role of two characters, namely Sam Kiu Tin-seng, the main character and the brother of Vincent’s counterpart played by Ruco Chan (陳展鵬), and the head of the kidnappers. While this may have seemed like a good idea at the time, combining the characters meant that I couldn’t adapt the bit where Sam beats his brother up and the head of the kidnappers yells at him for it (I once liked doing impromptu dubs in front of my computer, but my parents would get annoyed, especially when I tried to shout quietly because saying violent things for acting purposes gives me a real rush, which is why I stopped because it’s become a bit of a trigger for me).

There’s no more Akari-related stuff that I adapted, but I did adapt another bit from that drama for the Christmas in July Special. There’s a scene towards the end where Hiroki fights the Master in Canterlot, but just as Hiroki is about to shoot him, he gets shot in the back by Shining Armor. That was adapted from the bit where Sam fights the mob boss who he was working undercover for (the head of the kidnappers worked for him).

Anyway, that’s it for Series 8. Let’s move on to Series 9.

The Day of Retribution

Following the Battles of Odawara Castle and Nagashino, Hiroki discovers that Akari’s cousins are planning to pair her with one of eight boys in a Bachelorette-esque competition, but with the help of Momoka and the Kōmeikai, he defeats them and takes Akari back. However, this was actually a set-up as when they got back to the TARDIS, Akari kissed Hiroki and stole his biodata before stealing Momoka’s TARDIS (having not returned it to the Pony Doctor yet) and leaving. Hiroki takes control of the Doctor’s TARDIS and severely damages it while going after Akari, causing them to crash into a parallel world, coincidentally the same world where the Hiroki of that universe was forced to marry Hideko Kimihara. The Kikuchi Clan were in charge of that plot, but Daniel and Girl Power were facilitating some of the events from behind the scenes.

This adventure features the debut of Samurai Mode, a prototype of the Superhero Project based on Samurai Sentai Shinkenger where Hiroki and the others morph into the Samurai Rangers. After some fights with Girl Power and their minions, the Doctor takes Hiroki and the others back to their universe. Upon returning, Hiroki discovers that Girl Power have allied with many armies and are preparing an all-out siege on Yokohama.

While the Doctor fights on Trenzalore, Hiroki gathers his allies together and they advance on Sekigahara, where they cripple Girl Power’s strength severely. Following that, Hiroki advances on Ōsaka, where Parker arrives to help them. During the later stages of the battle, Hiroki confronts Akari, who can morph into a Samurai Ranger as well using the same powers that Hiroki has. Hiroki defeats Akari and proceeds to bitch-slap her multiple times, calling her a “stupid bitch” and thinking that everyone, especially her family, wants him dead. It’s also in this scene where we get this gem of a line: “Every time I see minxes like you it makes me want to puke!” Akari teleports away before Hiroki fights and defeats Daniel.

Following this, Akari and Shaun send a message to everyone, inviting them to Kyōto for a celebratory dinner. Parker knows that this is a trap and urges Hiroki not to head there without working out a plan first, but he decides to lead an all-or-nothing attack the next day, on “the Day of Retribution”, proclaiming that “that slut’s gonna get her just desserts”. In a heated confrontation, Parker attempts to show Hiroki that he is becoming like his enemies, but Hiroki points out that he was as ruthless as himself at one point. Parker tries to shoot him, but instead, he swears to bring him to justice with his own hands.

The next evening, Hiroki advances on Kyōto with the Hongmen, joined by the rest of the Samurai Rangers (except the Doctor) and the Kōmeikai. While the Hongmen and Kōmeikai hold the fort at Nijō Castle, Hiroki and the Samurai Rangers head over to Honnōji and fight the Girl Power officers. Once they reach the gate to the top level, Hiroki tells his friends to leave while he goes up alone.

Hiroki confronts Akari at the top of Honnōji and they have a fierce fight. Severely injured, the two of them charge at each other and stab each other before pulling their swords out and hitting each other one final time with a spin as they fall to the ground. You would think they would have both died at this point, but no, they’re still alive somehow.

Akari had made an arrangement with Shaun for him to kill Hiroki. She lets him in, but before Shaun can kill him, Hiroki stabs him repeatedly. It is then that Akari shows up with a gun, saying, “I’m gonna put a cap in your ass,” but Hiroki snatches the gun from her and slaps her three times before pointing the gun at her head and shooting her. Bang. Fucking headshot.

Right at that moment, Parker and some UNIT soldiers arrive to arrest him. They take the long way around back to UNIT as the roads are blocked in Ōsaka, but Hiroki manages to escape. A chase ensues in the streets of Nantan, Kyōto with Hiroki taking a teenage girl hostage, but just as he is about to carjack someone, another car crashes into the back of the car he is jacking and squishes him up against the back of a truck, as you can see in the GIF below. You would think he would have died at this point, but no, he manages to teleport away because (as I realised recently) Parker didn’t bother to confiscate his vortex manipulator. Doctor Who logic, amirite?

Hiroki arrives at an Osterhagen station, that just happened to be a short distance away from Kyōto, and prepares to use an Osterhagen Key, given to him earlier by his assistant, to activate it. The Dalek fleets retreat from Trenzalore as they confront him, but Hiroki remotely sets the five stations online before detonating the nuclear warheads under Earth, destroying the planet and taking the Daleks with it.

As Hiroki prepares to meet his eventual death on the moon, the prospect comes faster than expected when Akari’s brother, Michael, confronts him, having survived as well. He was the one who Maya, Christie and Anna predicted would eventually defeat him, as he was “from his mother’s womb untimely ripped”. Hiroki and Michael fight and the battle ends with Michael stabbing Hiroki and Hiroki shooting him back. But just as they fall to the ground…

“Deus ex machina!”

The Earth is restored and everything is back to what it was, down to everyone’s ages as they revert to what they should be, discounting the extra eight years as a result of the Manchester Campaign. As an unconscious Hiroki lies on the grass, in blood-stained clothes, rain pouring over him, thinking that dying would be the best thing to ever happen to him that day, the Doctor materialises his TARDIS over him. After he has Hiroki wash himself and change his clothes, the Doctor tells Hiroki that he has become too possessive of Akari; before the Battle of Odawara Castle, he heard what Maya was telling him about his love to Akari being one-sided, but he never said anything because he wanted what was best for him.

With Girl Power’s invasion of Yokohama still imminent, the Doctor and a rejuvenated Hiroki quickly head there to save the city from certain doom.

And that was Series 9. Before I continue with the story, I’d like to take this time to point out that the confrontations between Hiroki and Akari in Ōsaka and Kyōto were inspired by the final episode of Black Heart White Soul (忠奸人). Hiroki played the role of Henry To Yi Hang (杜以鏗), played by Waise Lee (李子雄) and Akari played the role of Scarlet Sze Ka Lei (施嘉莉), played by Leanne Li (李亞男). Parker played the role of the cop, Cheung Lap Fan/Funny (張立勳), played by Ron Ng (吳卓羲). The Day of Retribution (I legitimately called the Series 9 finale that) was probably one of the darkest episodes I’ve ever written and as a result, I’m both proud and not proud of it at the same time. I made Hiroki cross lines I would never have made him cross, nor would I do in real life, which makes it really fucking scary, especially when you take the IRL context into account.

And you know what the most epic part is? Three years later, I found someone who makes Waise Lee look like Tim Shaw compared to Sacha Dhawan as the Master. In 2016 and 2017, Hugo Ng (吳岱融) played Ko Tin-tsau (高天鷲) in Brother’s Keeper II (巨輪II) and Cheung Tin-lung (蔣天龍) in Burning Hands (乘勝狙擊), which led him to become a bit of a meme in Hong Kong. I didn’t watch the former drama, but I was lucky enough to catch the final episode of the latter while I was on holiday in Hong Kong. In that episode, Cheung Tin-lung shoots up a wedding, beats up his son, then gets killed by his wife. Words cannot express how the incel inside me fucking loved that shit, which made me wish that Hugo Ng came back to TVB 3-4 years earlier than he did so that I could have adapted him instead of the other guy. It’s because of that scene that I call him “the Chinese Elliot Rodger” because his character did what Rodger never got to do in real life (not that I’m applauding him for it because it was still tragic). For consolation, I took the idea and incorporated it into All Riders vs. Dai-Shocker the next year.

Anyway, let’s move on to the final chapter. While Daniel and the rest of Girl Power were ready to advance on Yokohama, Akari and her friends separated from the group and began working against them. While confronting Narutaki at Nijō Castle, Hiroki learns that Akari plotting with Shaun to kill him was to hopefully bring him to his senses so that they could talk with him; Akari has been planning to betray Daniel since the Battle of Sekigahara since she and her friends thought he was starting to go too far. Akari shows up in the final battle and after Daniel’s defeat, she finally meets Hiroki on good terms for the first time since Mikatagahara. She gets a call from Hiroki’s previous incarnation (a la Deep Breath), who had just reset himself and was minutes away from regenerating, telling her that however scared she is, Hiroki is more scared than anything she can imagine, which is absolutely ironic given everything that happened so far. They got back together and lived happily ever after… until the Moushouden Series.

Finding their mutual feeling

UNIT continued to develop the Superhero Project throughout 2015 before it was launched in 2016. The Samurai Rangers from Series 9 would be succeeded by the Shinkengers, led by Akari Ichigo as ShinkenRed; Hiroki, the Doctor and Angelina would eventually gain new powers in 2017-18 (becoming Kamen Rider Decade, GokaiRed and GokaiPink respectively), the Gold Samurai Ranger would continue as ShinkenGold while the remaining two would resign. Narutaki would go missing and show up in Decade as Kamen Riders Duke and Gold Drive, while Veronica would debut as Kamen Rider Gridon towards the end of the series as a Rider of the Kougami Foundation.

During those years, Hiroki and Akari tried their best to love each other again, but they couldn’t. Akari only got back with him because she felt bad over what her actions with Girl Power did to him and she was scared of what would happen if she betrayed him again. As time went on, she actually began to fall in love with Hiroki for real, but she constantly denied this. Hiroki felt guilty about staying with Akari because of what Maya, Christie and Anna have been trying to tell him for months and also because he felt (later confirmed) that she was only staying with him out of pity. As such, neither of them had the courage to confess their true feelings for fear of the other’s reaction, so they became distant towards each other. Hiroki took any and every opportunity to fight Akari, putting his all into their fights, but he could never bring himself to kill her.

In July 2018, during Age of Riders Genesis, Akari decided to have Hiroki reconcile with her cousins, but his paranoia and previous animosity caused him to become prejudiced towards them. Akari realised that Hiroki was only acting this way because of what she and Girl Power did to him over the years and as such, she believed that it was payback for their actions (and inactions). Following some conflicts, Hiroki and Akari come to terms with their feelings for each other and apologise for everything that happened. Akari would become Kamen Rider Duke in this movie and from Soulbound Series 3 onward after Narutaki decided to fight as Kamen Rider Gold Drive permanently. In turn, Akari would pass on her role as ShinkenRed to Kyōya Shinomiya.

While the two would continue to feature in the Moushouden Series, this marks the end of Hiroki and Akari’s relationship story arcs in the project.

IRL context (Judgement Time)

It’s time for me to give the IRL context to this entire saga. Writing these two instalments has acted as an opportunity for me to reflect on my own actions and feelings. While I realised that I may have been a bit of an asshole at some points, I stand by my opinion that “Akari” was being an asshole as well, but not as much as I was. After reading this, you are welcome to judge my actions, but keep in mind that I’ve learnt from those past mistakes. Okay then, here we go.

I first met “Akari” at high school a few weeks into the start of Year 7 in 2011. Towards the end of lunchtime, I was sitting near my locker bay, with my stuff ready for the next class, when “Akari”, who was sitting near me, said hi and asked for my name. At that moment, I was so stunned by how beautiful she looked that I couldn’t ask for her name back. On top of that, she was in the same year level as me, in the class next to mine. Every time we saw each other over the next few years or so, we had very little interaction other than saying hi or bye.

I told a couple of friends about my crush and later, I found out her name on Facebook. I added her and when she accepted my friend request, I tried getting into her DMs, but she referred me to her cousin who essentially told me to fuck off. This was a time when Facebook chat didn’t keep your messages, so I unfortunately don’t have a record of that.

The major turning point for this was at the start of Year 10 in 2014. For Valentine’s Day, the student committee organised a little fundraiser where people could write little love letters for a gold coin donation. Naturally, I couldn’t let this opportunity pass me by, so I wrote a letter for “Akari” (don’t ask me what was in it, writing these instalments was cringy enough as they were).

The day after Valentine’s Day, I tried to clarify things with “Akari”, but she referred me to her cousin (not the same one from 2011), who called me ugly and told me that “Akari” hated me. That exchange cemented in me that “Akari” was an absolute fucking bitch, which led to her blocking me on Instagram and me blocking her back on Facebook. I ranted about it to one of her friends (who I was more familiar with) and a few days later, we had a little talk and she told me that my love for “Akari” was one-sided, that “Akari” didn’t love me the same way I did her. After getting my feelings straight, I changed the direction of Doctor Who Series 8 and 9 to the way that it is now (her friend suggested that I remove her from my project completely, but I couldn’t resist keeping her in as a villain). It didn’t help that all this happened a few months before Elliot Rodger’s Day of Retribution (which I named the Series 9 finale after).

Despite this turning point, my crush for “Akari” never subsided. Even when my friends got tired of feeding my delusions, possibly because they stopped caring, I began making ironic and cringy memes about the subject that were only shared among Facebook friends. As the chuunibyou in me led me to attack her and her friends in a pretend manner, inspired by Dynasty Warriors, I started adapting attacks from Super Sentai and Kamen Rider as I was just getting into those franchises at the time. This led me to be known more for that instead of my crush, though there were people who were still aware of it.

During a formal event at the end of Year 10, I actually managed to get a photo with “Akari” (which was frankly a miracle given the incident at the start of the year). I wanted to get another photo with her at Year 12 formal, but when I stood in the line and called out to her, she just ignored me. Granted, I was with two other girls at the time (godfuckingdammit), so despite how much I wanted to check that off my bucket list, I kind of deserved it. I ended up memeing this encounter anyway, so joke’s on her.

I never saw “Akari” again after Year 12. Over the years, particularly during this year’s coronavirus lockdown, I did a lot of reflection on everything that happened between me and “Akari” and I realised a lot of things I was too autistic to realise at the time.

Am I fine with accepting that “Akari” never loved me back? Yes, but I strongly think that she should have told me herself instead of getting her cousins to do it for her. If she did, then my complaints would have been invalidated, but all she did was make herself look like a coward. If I had violent tendencies, that’s different, but I feel like I deserve to know how she felt about me without being bullshitted.

Why did I still have a crush on her despite what happened? Honestly, it felt like an abusive relationship for me – you keep pining for her in the hope that she’ll see you differently than she did before, but she just sees you the same way she always has.

Couldn’t I have been friends with her instead? Honestly, the thought rarely crossed my mind and even if it did, I was too scared to approach her because she was usually with her friends. Though I was never able to realise or express it at the time, I also felt jealous because she was hanging out with some boys as well. If I could change one thing about all this, I would have asked for her name at the start instead of having to go on Facebook to find out. I don’t know whether it would have made a difference either way, but if it could have contributed to me having at least some sort of friendship with her, then I would change my past and watch over my past self as he did the things I wasn’t able to do.

Why did I still do the chuunibyou Kamen Rider shit to her at school? From the outside, it looks like chuunibyou Kamen Rider shit and funny random antics, but what nobody ever knew is that I had internalised resentment for her and that I frequently fantasised myself winning against her in a fight (preferably Kamen Rider-esque). I honestly wish someone would have understood, but knowing myself, if someone asked me why, I would just say “I don’t know”.

Would it be possible for me to patch things up with “Akari” at this point? Honestly, even if I had the choice, I don’t think I want to bother (unless she wants to, which is very unlikely). Her social media’s all on private and I don’t want to back down from the high ground by unblocking her on Facebook just for some silly thing that happened when we were young. Besides, how do I know if she would want to be friends with me given the fact that I barely have any contact with anyone from high school?

Don’t I know that love isn’t just about how someone looks, but also what their character is like? Yes, and I wish I knew that before or at least made the effort to be friends with “Akari” just to see how she’s actually like. I fell in love with “Akari” because of how she looked, but I never bothered to find out what she was like. My impressions of her are merely based from what I saw or found; at the start, she seemed like a mysterious girl, but later on, she just turned out to be an absolute bitch. Back at school, if I could have the chance to be proven wrong and change my opinion of her, I would probably have taken it, but now, I think there’s no point anymore. Her smile caught my eyes and heart and it’s the only thing I know well about her that I’ll never forget.

It’s really weird looking back on my project and seeing how many storylines revolved around Akari. I started writing “Akari” into Doctor Who not long after I started writing stories for what would become my project; at first, Akari appeared as alternate counterparts of herself before her main universe counterpart was introduced in Series 5. My (passive) interactions with “Akari” would act as inspirations to my stories, the two biggest ones being Shaun and the Manchester Campaign storyline in 2013 (inspired by my jealousy of seeing Akari with another boy) and the Next Gen Series past the halfway mark of Series 8 (inspired by the turning point I stated earlier). At the same time, I also wrote in some interactions between Hiroki and Akari that took place between 2003 and 2011, which just goes to show how much I was obsessed with her back then.

During the Moushouden Series, I planned to end the Hiroki and Akari relationship arc because now that we have graduated high school, there was no reason for me to maintain (most of) my animosity towards her and her cousins, particularly since the chances of us encountering each other again are slim to none. Same reason goes for Hiroki in my project – I didn’t want to end the series with Hiroki, Akari and their families still resenting each other. While writing out the endgame, I also tripled down on the past interactions in Three Kingdoms, as it covered the events between 2003 and 2011 and provided a bridge to Hiroki and Akari’s debut at the end of Doctor Who Series 5.

Now that these two instalments are done, I feel like a weight has been lifted from me, though the consequences of my actions still remain. “Akari” and her friends know about my crush towards her, they know that I’ve written them into my stories and they know that I changed Akari’s name to what it is from the Next Gen Series onwards. As such, if they were to read these two instalments, I strongly believe they would know who I’ve been talking about.

I don’t know if I have the courage to apologise to “Akari”, on the off-chance she finds out about these instalments, given what she did, particularly in 2014. I’ve justified my reaction towards her in that she was too much of a bitch to even face me directly, but I don’t know if other people think the same way I do. To that point, I’m ready to be considered an asshole or an incel over this saga because after all this reflection, I realised that I could have been in the wrong all this time regardless of whether “Akari” was in the wrong or not.

I wrote these storylines because I was too autistic to face my crush for fear of rejection or embarrassment. Now, these storylines, along with whatever memories, impressions or fantasies I have of her, have become stark reminders of my regrets and sins throughout this saga. I’ve counted up my sins, “Akari”, how about you?

That’s it from Kisekae Insights for the time being. I’m starting to feel burnt out after writing 16 instalments and there are some other things I want to focus on, so I’ve decided to take a break from this series for now. Given how I said that this series would have no set schedule, I could put the series in the back of my mind for a while and you would be none the wiser, but I thought I should tell you about this since I’ve already posted instalments for six months in a row. There are other things I was planning to cover, like Gokaiger, Decade and Soulbound, but those will have to wait for another time. Look forward to them when they come out, but for now, don’t get your hopes up too much.

#kisekae insights

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mrepstein · 8 years ago

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Chapter on Brian Epstein from ‘The Beatles: The Fabulous Story of John, Paul, George and Ringo’ by Robert Burt & Jeremy Pascall [1975]

The Beatle-Maker

On thinking back to the Beatles’ beginnings, or come to that the beginnings of British pop music, a name that inevitably springs to mind is that of Brian Epstein. It was he who was without any doubt the finest manipulator of groups either before, during, or since the rise of the Beatles. His untimely death occurred in August 1967, and in many ways from that point on the Beatles started a slow down-hill slide.

Brian was born on September 19th, 1934, in Rodney Street, Liverpool - an exclusive area well known for its concentration of doctors. The grandson of a Polish immigrant, Brian was the first of two children born to Queenie and Harry Epstein. At the age of four he attended kindergarten, which seems to have been one of the very few, if not only, schools that he ever came to terms with. When the war broke out Liverpool became a prime bombing target because of the docks, and along with hundreds of other children, Brian was evacuated to Southport, a West Coast resort now better known for convalescing. He was sent to Southport College where he carried on, after a fashion, his schooling.

In 1943 the bombing seemed to have stopped, and the Epstein family returned to Childwall, a suburb of Liverpool. Obviously the move meant Brian would have to leave Southport College, and after an interview with the headmaster of Liverpool College he was admitted as a scholar. His stay was not a very long or rewarding one for after a short period he was expelled. Brian once said: “One feature of life which I experienced there and at other schools and even sometimes now, was anti-semitism. Even now it lurks around the corner in some guise or other, and though it doesn’t matter to me any more, it did when I was younger.”

Harry Epstein was wondering whether his son and heir was ever going to find a school which he enjoyed, and the thought of having a totally un-educated son was worrying both him and his wife. Between them they decided, as a result of Brian’s anti-semitic claims, to send him to a Jewish prep school, ‘Beaconsfield’, near Tunbridge Wells in Kent. Brian stayed at this prep school for the longest period of time that he stayed at any school, and when he was approaching the age of 13 he sat the examinations that would determine whether he would go forward to public school. Needless to say, the outcome was... failure.

To say at this time Harry and Queenie were immensely worried about their son’s future would be a gross understatement. However, they found a private school for their son in Dorset. At this school, if nothing else, he was allowed to express his flair for art, and remembers it as being the only thing that he was remotely good at. Back in Liverpool at this time, Harry Epstein was trying hard to find a good school for Brian before it was too late. His hard work bore fruit, for in the autumn of 1948, just as Brian had turned 14, he was notified that his son was to attend Wrekin College, in Shropshire.

At Wrekin, Brian discovered that he had another talent besides art. He took part in school plays and found that his performances were being praised by the teachers. It must have been the only thing young Epstein was praised for, and before he had the opportunity to sit any examinations he decided he wanted to leave school and become a dress designer. Brian might have wanted to become a dress designer but his parents had other ideas, and on September 10th, 1950, aged very nearly 16, he started his first job as a sales assistant at the family’s local furniture store.

He started work at £5 a week, which really wasn’t a bad wage at that time, and slowly but surely built up some kind of interest in his work. His parents were pleased as this was the first time in his life that he had shown concern for anything. Mr. and Mrs. Epstein were satisfied and happy with their eldest son. Things were on the up and up for Brian.

On December 9th, 1952, as though he hadn’t gone through enough discipline of one sort or another, a buff envelope arrived through the door notifying him that he was to attend a National Service medical. (In those days National Service was compulsory). He passed his medical as an A.1., the only A.1. achievement he had ever received. And so he began his two years’ service as a clerk in the Royal Army Service Corps.

Secure Businessman

Within 10 months of joining the army his nerves became seriously upset. He reported to the barrack doctor, and after a thorough examination he was passed on to a psychiatrist. After four psychiatric opinions they came to the conclusion that Private Epstein was just not fit for military service - and discharged him.

He arrived back in Liverpool prepared to work very hard at the furniture trade. This he did, and seemed to settle into some kind of routine way of life. His parents were happy. For no apparent reason at this time Brian’s old love for acting returned, and he regularly attended the Liverpool Playhouse. He began to meet the actors socially, and started toying with the idea of acting as a profession. With the encouragement of the professionals Brian got himself an audition at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, and after reading two pieces, excerpts from ‘Confidential Clerk’ and ‘Macbeth’, he was accepted to begin studies as from the next term. So at 22, although a secure and aspiring businessman, he submitted himself once again to the rigours of community life, and became a student at R.A.D.A. It didn’t take Brian too long to realise that studying just wasn’t his forte, and he went back, once again, to the furniture business - where it now seemed that he was going to spend the rest of his working life.

The Epstein’s store was at this time expanding, and they opened another branch in the city centre. Included in this branch was a record department which Brian took charge of. Anne Shelton opened the store, and from that first day it began to flourish. Although most of the records Brian sold were pop, his real interest lay in classical and his favourite composer was Sibelius.

In 1959 the Epstein’s opened yet another store, this time in the heart of Liverpool’s shopping centre and opened by Anthony Newley. By autumn 1962 Brian’s store, for he was in complete charge of the city centre branch, was running to absolute perfection.

The Beatles

At about 3 o’clock on Saturday October 28th, 1961, a young customer came into the store, dressed in the usual costume of the time - black leather jacket and denim jeans - he said: “There’s a record I want. It’s ‘My Bonnie’, and it was made in Germany. Have you got it?” Brian knew his stock inside out and gave a negative nod: but the old policy of keeping the customer satisfied was now to pay handsome dividends. “Who is it by?” asked Brian. “You won’t have heard of them” said the young customer, “it’s a group called the Beatles...” He learned that they had just returned from Hamburg, Germany, and were currently playing a residency at the local Cavern club.

Curiosity overtook Brian, and he decided to visit this cellar club and find out what it was about this group that made the locals react as they did.

He wasn’t too impressed with what he heard, although he found their personalities magnetic and for this reason he stayed until they completed their set. When they left the stage he was taken to the band room to meet them, but merely for the purpose of asking them about their record. George was the first to speak to him. He shook Brian by the hand and said: “What brings Mr. Epstein here?” They obviously knew of him from the record store. Brian went ahead and explained the situation about the several requests he had had for their record. George called over John, Paul and Pete Best - and said “this man would like to hear our disc”. They played it to him, and on hearing it Brian asked the four young lads to visit his office a few days later. Their first meeting was set for December 3rd, 1961.

Brian, even if he was thinking about it, had as much idea of artist/management as he had about flying to the Moon, but something inside was burning to get these four scruffy kids under his ruling. The four of them arrived at his office as arranged, although Paul was a little late. They passingly discussed the future and contracts and then moved on to other topics of conversation. They drank a lot of coffee and arranged another meeting for the following Wednesday. In between time Brian paid a visit to the family solicitor, Rex Makin, to discuss what an artist/management contract consisted of. On asking him this question and then explaining the reasons for asking it, Makin added dryly, “Oh, yes, another Epstein idea. How long before you lose interest in this one?”

Signed, Sealed And Settled

The second meeting took place as arranged, and with all members sitting in his rather plush office Brian said: “You need a manager, would you like me to do it?” There was a pregnant silence, and then John looked up and said “Yes.” The others all agreed, and John again said: “Right then Brian. Manage us, now. Where’s the contract? I’ll sign it.” Brian had very little idea what a contract looked like, let alone could he produce one. But within a week Makin had drawn one up, and the following Wednesday it was ready for all to sign. John, Paul, George and Pete Best all put their signatures to the contract, and all were counter-signed by witness Alastair Taylor, Brian’s assistant. The only signature that was always conspicuous by it’s absence was that of Brian Epstein.

First Audition

Brian felt that the first task of a manager was to secure for his artists a recording contract. He managed to lure Mike Smith of Decca to the Cavern to see and hear the Beatles at work, and what Mr. Smith heard knocked him out. He went back to Decca and arranged for the four lads to attend an audition at the famous Decca Record Company. The boys plus Brian arrived in London on New Year’s Eve, 1961, and the following morning, with Brian at their sides, went to the recording studio for their first audition.

They played several numbers which were duly recorded, and having completed their task returned to Liverpool to await the voices from the hierarchy of Decca. In March 1962, three long months later, Brian was summoned to the Decca offices to meet Dick Rowe and Beecher Stevens, two important executives. On arrival he was shown into their suite of offices and asked to sit down. Dick Rowe was spokesman: “Not to mince words Mr. Epstein, we don’t like your boys’ sound. Groups of guitarists are on the way out.” Brian tried to hide his immense disappointment and replied: “You must be out of your minds. These boys are going to explode. I am completely confident that one day they will be bigger than Elvis Presley.” Dick Rowe was rather taken aback and, thinking it was Brian that was going out of his mind, said: “The boys won’t go, Mr Epstein. We know these things. You have a good business in Liverpool. Stick to that!”

Thus ended the Decca saga. Brian, however, was determined that someone somewhere was going to like his Beatles. Pye, Philips, Columbia and countless others all rejected Brian’s tapes. ‘There’s nothing there’ they all said in their voices of authority.

As a final resort Brian was going to have an all-or-nothing raid on London. If nothing happened this time he would call it a day. He hadn’t any idea where he was going to take the tapes, but he was determined to secure a contract. Through a string of coincidences Epstein met up with a gentleman named Syd Coleman, who was a music publisher looking for songs. Brian played him the boys’ tapes and Coleman liked what he heard. He would, however, like a gentleman called George Martin to hear them, and would Brian take them along to a company called Parlophone (part of the EMI group) and play them to him? This Brian did, and Martin hearing the tapes and having nothing to lose invited them along for an audition.

A few weeks after the boys had completed their second audition Martin wrote to Epstein and offered him a recording contract. That elusive sheet of parchment was at last reality. The only bad side to the audition was the fact that George Martin didn’t consider Pete Best’s drumming suitable for the band. The other three were also appealing to Brian to ask Ringo Starr, the drummer to join the group. Brian was reluctant, but George Martin’s hint made him realise something must be done, and so one afternoon he broke the bad news to Pete Best. He didn’t want to do it, but he realised it would be best for the Beatles.

On their first actual recording session the boys put down two songs of their own: ‘Love Me Do’ and ‘P.S. I Love You’. On October 4th, 1962 the record was unleashed upon the world, and within a matter of weeks ‘Love Me Do’ had reached the no. 17 position in the British charts. George Martin, who quite honestly was amazed at the progress of this record, realised the need to bring out another single quickly, and almost immediately did another session with the boys. About this time he introduced Brian to an old friend of his, Dick James.

Brian went along to meet Dick James, who at that time occupied a one-roomed office in the Charing Cross Road. Dick asked him to sit down, and takes up the story from there:

“He had with him a rough acetate of a session he had just completed with George Martin. I put it on my record player and I heard this song ‘Please Please Me’, and I just hit the ceiling. He asked what I thought, and I said ‘I think it’s a no. 1.’, I picked up the telephone and called a friend of mine, Philip Jones, who at that time was a light entertainment producer at ABC TV, and he was just starting a new show called Thank Your Lucky Stars. The breaks started to come virtually from that moment.”

The Midas Touch

Brian was suitably impressed, and agreed to let Dick have the publishing to both sides of the forthcoming disc. As it turned out Dick was right and the record did make no. 1.

The song that George Martin wanted to follow ‘Love Me Do’ with was in fact given to him by Dick James. A song written by an up-and-coming writer called Mitch Murray, it was entitled ‘How Do You Do It?’, but the Beatles couldn’t get into the song so they dropped it. Brian had realised the potential of this song though, and asked the only-too-pleased Dick James if he could have it for another Liverpudlian group that he had just signed. Dick agreed, and Gerry and the Pacemakers certainly did do justice to the song and took it right up the charts to the no. 1 spot.

And so the hits went on and on and on. Everything Brian touched turned to gold. He signed Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas, and they too wallowed in hits. Cilla Black, the Fourmost, the Big Three, the Merseybeats and many others followed. He formed an empire and called it NEMS (North East Music Stores), which he named after his record shop in Liverpool. Brian went on to shape the Beatles in such a way that they were shortly to have no. 1 records with everything that they released. Last but not least, they were to ultimately conquer the world.

Unfortunately, with the success coming at the phenomenal rate Brian was getting it, the pressures began to grow. He started working a 25-hour day, eight days a week. He was careful not to lavish too much attention on any one act, and tried (unsuccessfully) to share his devotions. He was devoted to his artists, and saw more of them than he did of his family. One can’t help feeling though, and if Brian were alive today he would probably clarify this, that the Beatles were his first love - not because they were the most successful, but because they had an affinity that Brian had never experienced before. He gave these four suburban lads the world, and gave us all the Beatles, Nobody could ask a bigger favour of anyone than that.

Sad Death

A few years later, when the Beatles were in Bangor studying meditation under the Maharishi Yogi, Brian was found dead in bed in his Mayfair house. The coroner pronounced the death as accidental, due to the cumulative effect of bromide in a drug known as Carbitol. Brian had been taking this for some time because of the ever increasing pressures, which in turn led to insomnia. The world had lost a man whose foresight was greater than any music personality before or since. The Beatles had lost more than they could have possibly imagined. Brian Epstein was a fifth Beatle. He was as much a part of them as they were of him. Words can’t adequately describe the loss of a man of his stature, but perhaps the last words should come from his long time secretary Joanne Newfield:

“A lot of people seem to forget and they say ‘oh he didn’t do that much’, but if you look at the record since his death it makes you wonder. A lot of people say that the Beatles made Brian Epstein; I don’t think Brian Epstein made the Beatles, but I think he did a great deal more than he is given credit for. A lot of managers could have found a group like them and completely messed them up. It wasn’t just their talent alone, it was their talent plus a very creative person behind them. Maybe business-wise he wasn’t the greatest, but creatively he was a genius.”

#Brian Epstein #The Beatles: The Fabulous Story of John Paul George and Ringo #1975 #70s

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